Monday, 15 September 2008

We must protect Goldman Sachs

Just come back from the meeting, and I am absolutely knackered. God knows what state my aura is in. And please, don't even talk to me about my chakras. Don't go there!

Jesus H. Christ was nowhere to be seen. Are any of you surprised? Big Herb was there - actually the first time I've seen him in his new astral form as a money god. Very impressed. Ganesh was there, looking very fit and healthy. The ghosts of the dead financiers looked a bit pale. It could be down to the stress, I suppose; but they've never really been rosy-cheeked, if you know what I mean. Anyway, we discussed Lehman Brothers and Merrill Lynch. There were a lot of tears, a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. THEN WE DECIDED. Goldman Sachs must be protected at all costs. Big Herb said, 'We must protect Goldman Sachs. It is the greatest investment bank on earth. It employs the most shamans and mystics. It is seriously committed to mystical capitalism. The bank must not fail!' That got a massive round of applause. So, we are putting all our energy into supporting Goldman.

I have been speaking to Arthur Simmons. He told me, 'Well, that went well, didn't it? Where was Jesus H. Christ? Never mind. I'm in full agreement with Big Herb. I can't imagine Goldman is in any danger, but we must all be vigilant. Speaking personally, I am prepared to lay down my life for Goldman Sachs. I love that friggin' bank, and I will do everything in my power to make sure it lives on in a mad burning frenzy of pure money.'

Amen to that.