Thursday 11 September 2008

RAB Capital: it's a mad, mad, mad, mad world

Yeah. Apparently, RAB Capital has been putting the frighteners on its investors. Telling them: stick with us or we'll send the boys round with pliers and a blowtorch. Is this any way to do business?

I have been speaking to my dear friend No One - the chief executive of Nothing - and he told me, 'RAB Capital has lost so much money. Lakshmi Mittal, who invested in RAB's Special Situations fund, has lost so much money. What should he do? A lot of people are saying he should get Ganesh involved, a curse or something, but fuck that shit, man! Any motherfuckers lost my money and I would set my enforcers on them, my hired thugs. No one messes with me! No one loses my money! Philip Richards or Stephen Couttie or whoever, I don't give a shit. Bring it on!'

Jesus! No One, mate, you don't even have any money invested in RAB. What are you getting so emotional about?