Monday, 19 July 2010

Anthony 'Chocolate Finger' Ward is a genuine Wonka

Yes, just like the fictional Willy Wonka, Anthony Ward is a man who wants to get his hands on all the world's chocolate. The hedge fund he founded, Armajaro Holdings, recently purchased 241,000 tons of cocoa beans for £658 million. Rather disturbingly, Mr Ward has actually taken possession of these beans. He is storing them in a shed at the bottom of his garden. The man is obviously a crazed, obsessive cocoa bean nut. Either that or a ruthless financier who has seen an opportunity to make a shitload of money.

I'm going with crazed, obsessive cocoa bean nut. I can understand Anthony. It ain't just about the money with him. He has a passion. And he wants the power. I once had an ambition to buy up all the world's tarot cards. It didn't happen in the end, but it would have driven fortune tellers mad. People like Keith Busby would have had to come to me every time they wanted to do business. I would have controlled everything. I'm still thinking of doing it with scrying fluid.