Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Robert Bastone works where risk management has meaning

I always knew that Robert Bastone would come good in the end. I knew he would settle down somewhere with vision. He has worked at Tiger Management in the forests of the night, but the visions were Blake's. He has worked at Ziff Brothers Investment. (Ziff Brothers? Sounds like a crew that does hits for the mob.) He has worked at his own hedge fund, Moon Capital Management, where he would often entertain staff by pulling his trousers down. And he has worked at Epeius Asset Management. (I can't think of anything witty to say.) Now, he is working where risk management has meaning. Where's that, you're wondering. Spruce Private Investors. No, I've never heard of the firm either. But it has vision! That's good enough for me. If you've got vision, you don't need much else. Spruce Private Investors has vision in spades. Like you won't believe. 'Vision is more than an inspirational proclamation; it's a shared philosophy that's woven into the very fabric of a company. At Spruce, our goal is to be one of the most respected, leading investment advisors to families, foundations and endowments in the U.S.' And they live by this fucking vision! They're out of control.

Chief operating officer. That's what they're calling him. Mr Bastone works closely with Spruce's external vendors. It's hard to believe, isn't it? He's done well for himself. I wish some firm would allow me to work closely with its external vendors. I've never been that lucky. Still, I shouldn't complain. I've had a life of visions, over twenty years now, oh, way over, man and boy. Mr Bastone is only just getting started in the vision game. We all have different destinies. It is my destiny to leave the desert behind, to lead the children to glory in the financial centres of the world. It hasn't happened yet. It will take time. Yes, the desert is behind us, the first stage, but glory will not be touched until we have overcome all resistance. Too many evil souls are in our way. They block out the light with their news and their negativity. Their destiny is the pit and the fire that turns everything, all reality, to ashes. I will put them there, with your help, with your faith, your belief, my money-lovers. God is on our side. That's why Big Herb and Ganesh had to go. God told me to kill Big Herb. I had to send the elephant away. The Lord has promoted me! Jesus and Buddha are my brothers. It was my consciousness. My consciousness lifted me up. I wasn't even aware of what was happening until my head began to burn with the power of a million suns. Then I knew. I lost the fear, the delusions, the doubt. I came into contact with a greater truth. God is not a socialist. His laws have been corrupted. His message twisted by demons. Pure cosmic consciousness without form, without thoughts, only the light, with only one commandment: achieve more life! And on this cold earth, that means make more money. The money is dirty, stained by the muck of humanity, but it will set us free once we have attained enough of it and then transcended it. Only the rich can transcend money. The poor are always chasing it. Unfortunately, the same goes for most of the rich. They want too much of it. They never stop to open their eyes to the universe that is all around them, and within them. I will open their eyes, with my terror, with my blood and fire. They must fear me before they can love me. My words must hurt them before they can soothe. My passion is a scalpel. Soon, I will operate.