[No. 108] We're going to put a smile on Cedric's face

There's more to life than fund management.

And we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[1], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[1], and we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[2], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[1], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[2], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[1], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[2], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[1], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[2], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[1], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[2], and a-ROUND here ...[1], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[2], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[1], and a-ROUND here ...[2], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[1], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[2], and I want to SMILE myself[1], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[2], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[1], and I want to SMILE myself[2], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[1], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[2], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[1], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[2], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[1], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[2], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[1], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[2], and we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[3], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[2], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[3], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[3], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[3], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[3], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[3], and a-ROUND here ...[3], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[3], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[3], and I want to SMILE myself[3], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[3], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[3], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[3], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[3], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[3], and

And we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[1], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[1], and we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[2], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[1], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[2], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[1], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[2], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[1], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[2], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[1], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[2], and a-ROUND here ...[1], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[2], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[1], and a-ROUND here ...[2], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[1], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[2], and I want to SMILE myself[1], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[2], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[1], and I want to SMILE myself[2], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[1], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[2], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[1], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[2], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[1], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[2], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[1], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[2], and we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[3], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[2], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[3], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[3], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[3], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[3], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[3], and a-ROUND here ...[3], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[3], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[3], and I want to SMILE myself[3], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[3], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[3], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[3], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[3], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[3], and

And we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[1], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[1], and we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[2], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[1], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[2], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[1], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[2], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[1], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[2], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[1], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[2], and a-ROUND here ...[1], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[2], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[1], and a-ROUND here ...[2], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[1], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[2], and I want to SMILE myself[1], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[2], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[1], and I want to SMILE myself[2], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[1], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[2], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[1], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[2], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[1], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[2], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[1], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[2], and we're going to try, that's all I can say, well, I can say more[3], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[2], and I'm sure ... we all want to see CEDRIC with a BIG SMILE on his face ... YES(!), I'm so sure[3], and we've all got problems, we know the PAIN[3], and I look at Cedric, and I look at the entire human race, and I try to keep going[3], and it ain't easy smiling, no, not when your world's falling apart[3], and I'm not FEELING all that great BUT (are you?) we must struggle on with life, and I suggest we think of Cedric and his needs[3], and a-ROUND here ...[3], and a-ROUND here we can make something happen[3], and let's take it slow, oh, no need to rush beyond the THREE[3], and I want to SMILE myself[3], and if I ever get BEYOND the THREE, so free, I'll be smiling[3], and we're taking CEDRIC with us[3], and I've seen those smiles that I just can't believe[3], and I've seen Cedric smiling in happier days[3], and I've seen ... a lot, no one knows[3], and

Michael Matthews is mixed up in this Invesco Perpetual Corporate Bond fund

Absolutely unbelievable! I mean, the Corporate Bond fund already has two managers. Why does it need three? 'Who are the other two, Mikey?' Paul Causer and Paul Read. 'And what's their problem? Are they incompetent or something?' I have no idea, Voice. See if you can dig this: The Invesco Perpetual Corporate Bond fund aims to achieve a high level of overall return, with relative security of capital. It intends to invest primarily in fixed interest securities. 'Yeah, I can dig that, man. But why aren't Causer and Read up to the job?' I don't know, for Christ's sake! 'Well, do you have any friends at Invesco Perpetual?' Only Neil Woodford, really. 'Can't you speak to him, find out what's going on?' No. 'Why not?' He's still upset. 'About what?' I wrote in a post that he wanted to burn people's feet. 'Of course. I remember. But he did want to do that!' I know. He's sensitive, Voice. He doesn't want people thinking he's a weirdo. 'Too late now.' Yeah.

Oh, Paul Causer says he's delighted. Jesus! I'm sick of hearing how delighted everyone is. Just once it would be nice if someone came out and said: "I'm disgusted. This shouldn't be happening". / Never mind. I'm not going to interfere. I can't actually interfere while things are a bit funny with Neil. / If you're a regular reader, you'll know that I was Neil's Master out in the desert - in the old days before I was even writing this blog. Where does the time go?

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I'm listening to Bowie's live Stage album from his 1978 world tour. The Ziggy songs sound good. / I had some trousers like that. Black ones though, not white.

[No. 107] Existential outsiders get a-ROUND just for the sheer hell of it

The animals? The phoneys? Oh, man, the insiders? If I give everything I've got, they'll be fucked for life.

And if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[1], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[1], and if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[2], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[1], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[2], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[1], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[2], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[1], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[2], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[1], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[2], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![1], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[2], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[1], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![2], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[1], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[2], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[1], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[2], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![1], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[2], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[1], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![2], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![1], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[2], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[1], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![2], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[1], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[2], and if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[3], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[2], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[3], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[3], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[3], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[3], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[3], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![3], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[3], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[3], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[3], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![3], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[3], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![3], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[3], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[3], and

And if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[1], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[1], and if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[2], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[1], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[2], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[1], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[2], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[1], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[2], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[1], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[2], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![1], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[2], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[1], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![2], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[1], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[2], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[1], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[2], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![1], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[2], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[1], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![2], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![1], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[2], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[1], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![2], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[1], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[2], and if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[3], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[2], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[3], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[3], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[3], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[3], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[3], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![3], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[3], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[3], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[3], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![3], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[3], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![3], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[3], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[3], and

And if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[1], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[1], and if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[2], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[1], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[2], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[1], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[2], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[1], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[2], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[1], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[2], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![1], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[2], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[1], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![2], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[1], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[2], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[1], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[2], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![1], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[2], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[1], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![2], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![1], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[2], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[1], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![2], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[1], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[2], and if you're OUTSIDE ... here is a place for you to be IN love with pain and despair[3], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[2], and where we're going, Christ, I can't say, I ... but it is most definitely somewhere beyond the THREE[3], and we're here - RIGHT NOW[3], and we're CUT OFF, right here, and really loving it - ?[3], and you're safe here - if you've got the spirit for HELL[3], and this is my PERSONAL GUARANTEE: I'll destroy anyone who looks at YOU(!) the wrong way[3], and I protect the alienated, child, believe me: I AM THE LORD OF ALIENATION!!![3], and insiders can't think, can't feel right[3], and insiders got no right to live in comfort, to live in peace, to live with dull souls and stupidity, but it's the WORLD[3], and I HATE(!) this stinking world[3], and they OWN the world, my little darling, they are the SHIT OF THE WORLD!!![3], and these fucking disgusting human beings stick to EVERYTHING that is good[3], and so there's NOTHING left for us, and that's why we've got to get a-ROUND, to get free, more than THREE, yes![3], and ... the POWER we could have together, here, or beyond, oh, I'm literally SHAKING thinking about it[3], and when I SHAKE, the WORLD shakes[3], and

Gregory Herbert? I've never even heard of the guy!

How is this fair, reader(s), eh? Someone I've never heard of has taken over the Jupiter European Income fund. Greg's the new manager! Yes, Cedric is a bit of an eccentric, but ... I can't understand it!!! Cedric de Fonclare is actually a close personal friend of mine ... these days, in my imagination. I know I gave him a hard time about the Big Herb stuff. That's all water under the bridge now. Big Herb is dead. There ain't no desert no more. Cedric got a beating, but he learnt his lesson. I had to forgive and forget. Until today, that is. This morning I remembered, or was forced to remember, that I had such a dear friend, because there's a story that Gregory Herbert is running the fund. / I don't know how this happened. No one asked for my permission. And I haven't spoken to Cedric yet. I'll be honest with you, dear reader(s), everything is a bit chaotic with me at the moment. I'm trying to write those songs, and improve my guitar playing. And then there's Vodafone, as well. (The cretins can't even deliver a signal in West FUCKING London! What's going on?!) So maybe there's an explanation. John Chatfeild-Roberts says: "We are delighted". Ha! We? Who is "we", mate? You can leave me out of it! And I still don't know who John is! (John, my angel turns me on, but I'm only writing this post.) And this is the firm with more financial shamans than it knows what to do with! Is Greg a shaman? I've never heard of him.

Incredible! 'Mikey - Gregory will apply the same investment process which has enabled the team to deliver strong long term outperformance in varying market conditions across their portfolios.' I don't care, Voice. 'But that's a good thing, ain't it?' Man, I don't want to hear about it. Ignorance is bliss. 'You're shutting yourself off from these people when they need your goddamn help, boy!' THEY DON'T NEED MY HELP!!! They're grown adults. They know what they're doing. Of course, they'll come running to me when it all goes wrong.

And this is why I want out. Over the last six years I could have written a hundred songs. A hundred! Easily. 'You've got responsibilities, Mikey. You led these lunatics out into the desert. You made them your mystical children. You indoctrinated them, and touched them with the burning love. Then you closed the desert down - which I didn't agree with - and dragged everyone back to the cities, the City, and Wall Street, and now you just want to abandon everything when we're on the verge of a REVOLUTION?! Are you fucking crazy?! It's not on, man. It's just not on.' Leave me alone, Voice! I'm tired and I want to be left alone.

I am so very tired.

George R. Jarkesy Jr. worked closely with Thomas Belesis!

I'm shocked. 'So? What's wrong with that, Mikey?' I'll tell you what's wrong with it, Voice! No I won't. The SEC will. See if you can dig this -

An investigation by the SEC’s Enforcement Division found that George R. Jarkesy Jr., worked closely with Thomas Belesis to launch two hedge funds that raised $30 million from investors. Jarkesy and his firm John Thomas Capital Management (since renamed Patriot28 LLC) inflated valuations of the funds' assets, causing the value of investors' shares to be overstated and his management and incentive fees to be increased. Jarkesy, a frequent media commentator and radio talk show host, also lied to investors about the identity of the funds' auditor and prime broker. Meanwhile, although they shared the same "John Thomas" brand name, Jarkesy's firm and Belesis' firm John Thomas Financial were portrayed as wholly independent. Jarkesy led investors to believe that as manager of the funds, he was solely responsible for all investment decisions. However, Belesis sometimes supplanted Jarkesy as the decision maker and directed some investments from the hedge funds into a company in which his firm was heavily invested. Belesis also bullied Jarkesy into showering excessive fees on John Thomas Financial even in instances where the firm had done virtually nothing to earn them.

More, than is healthy. And -

"Nobody gets access to Tommy until they make us money!!!!!"

 

Who the hell is Tommy?! Er ... 'I was wondering that, man.' It's Thomas, I suppose. 'Yeah.' But why would anyone want access to him? 'It sounds perverse. Are you sure you want to get involved in this, Mikey?' I've started writing the post now. / I had no idea. I mean, I had a bad internet connection again this morning and this story was the only half-decent thing I could find. 'Now you're stuck with it. Unless you want to write about your music.'

And who is Anastasios?

_________________________

Nothing's happening with my music.

I'll be playing my guitar later, obviously. I want another song, a commercial pop tune. Something to get excited about.

It's taking forever, but I ain't got forever.

Great songs are worth waiting for. I have two (I think). There's no point in writing run-of-the-mill songs. Not for a demo that you hope will get you a publishing deal.

It's frustrating though.

Maybe these music notes will seem like Rimbaud's letters from Africa one day. I fucking well hope not! He lost a leg and died without making his fortune.

Schroders is buying Cazenove Capital for £424 million

And I couldn't give a shit. Honestly, I could not give a shit. I ain't got nothing against Schroders, and I ain't got nothing against Cazenove, but I woke up in the cold this morning with all kinds of problems in my life and countless wankers to deal with and I said to myself: "I don't care what the financial news is today. It doesn't matter what it is. It's bound to be a load of bollocks. Even Cyprus. Yeah, even Cyprus will be a load of bollocks. I'm sorry, but let the dickheads write about that EU stuff." Then after struggling for ages to get a signal on my fucking useless Vodafone dongle, I went around all the financial websites and got the sudden urge to slash my wrists - which I managed to resist, thank God. Yes, I say "thank God" because I've got my music to live for now, and I'm going to be playing my guitar after lunch for the rest of the day and I'm going to force out another song because that's all I care about, yeah? And I don't care what Andrew Ross wants to say in a statement. I ain't got nothing against the guy, but it's Monday morning and it's freezing and I don't want to hear that this is a transaction which delivers attractive value for Cazenove's shareholders. I don't want to hear that shit, all right? And Michael Dobson can shut his cakehole as well. Dobson is confident the transaction will create long-term value and benefits for Schroders' clients, shareholders, and employees. So? So what? Do I care? No, I do not.

And this is serious. Pay attention. / Who are these people who do this for a living? Not just working in hedge funds and banks, no, but writing about the nonsense too? Am I one of these people? I've been doing it for six years now, but am I really one of these people? / No. I can't be. I'm the one who’s been spreading the burning love. A lot of people haven't wanted that love, but that's not my fault. I haven't failed. You've got to look at the people I've been trying to help, dear reader. The blame for any failure lies with them. It's a failure of intellect, a failure of passion, and, most of all, a failure of spirit. Fuck 'em.

[No. 106] Rich Ricci pockets nearly £18 million in a shares bonanza!

£17.6 million.

And it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[1], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![1], and it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[2], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[1], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![2], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[1], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[2], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![1], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[2], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[1], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![2], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[1], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[2], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![1], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[2], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[1], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![2], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[1], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[2], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[1], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[2], and ESCAPE is the only option[1], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[2], and it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[3], and ESCAPE is the only option[2], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![3], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[3], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[3], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![3], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[3], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[3], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![3], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[3], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[3], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[3], and ESCAPE is the only option[3], and

And it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[1], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![1], and it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[2], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[1], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![2], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[1], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[2], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![1], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[2], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[1], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![2], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[1], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[2], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![1], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[2], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[1], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![2], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[1], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[2], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[1], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[2], and ESCAPE is the only option[1], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[2], and it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[3], and ESCAPE is the only option[2], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![3], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[3], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[3], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![3], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[3], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[3], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![3], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[3], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[3], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[3], and ESCAPE is the only option[3], and

And it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[1], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![1], and it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[2], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[1], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![2], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[1], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[2], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![1], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[2], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[1], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![2], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[1], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[2], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![1], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[2], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[1], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![2], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[1], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[2], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[1], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[2], and ESCAPE is the only option[1], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[2], and it's a shares BONANZA, shares GALORE(!), and I hope Rich Ricci will be sharing some with me[3], and ESCAPE is the only option[2], and if I don't get my share, I don't know what I'll do - oh, these are desperate times![3], and Rich Ricci is laughing all the way to the bank - which isn't a long way, admittedly[3], and it's a stroke of luck his name ain't Poor Pourri: he'd have never got a job at Barclays[3], and there are eight other BIGWIGS!!![3], and Rich Ricci is the biggest wig - as far as shares go, anyway[3], and here's the plan: we'll get him DIZZY all a-ROUND, and then we'll steal his money[3], and someone says ... they announced it when everyone(?) was busy with the budget - OUTRAGEOUS![3], and I don't think I was busy, but never mind ... What was I doing?[3], and I wasn't paying attention ... head in the clouds ... moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline[3], and who would want to pay attention in an EVIL world?[3], and ESCAPE is the only option[3], and

Nick Ring is the new head of distribution at Threadneedle

Oh dear. There seems to be some confusion. I've just been looking at Campbell Fleming's LinkedIn profile. Apparently, Campbell is the head of distribution at Threadneedle! 'This could turn nasty, Mikey. I hope they don't come to blows.' Well, they will, Voice, if Nick has stolen Campbell's job.

Who is this Nick Ring anyway? What right does he have to go around telling people he's the head of distribution? 'Who has he told, man?' Well, he told me last night, in a dream. Why do you think I'm writing this? 'I don't know.' The first thing I did when I woke up was to go on the internet because I knew damn well that Campbell Fleming was the head of distribution. I mean, it says so on his LinkedIn profile. 'Oh, okay. What else does it say?' It says he likes freeze-dried food. 'What?! That's crazy!' Don't shoot the messenger, Voice.

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Dear reader, did you enjoy my tiger on Vaseline thing, No. 105? Oh good. I'm glad.

[No. 105] I'm moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline

Tyger? No.

And what about YOU(!)?[1], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[1], and what about YOU(!)?[2], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[1], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[2], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[1], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[2], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[1], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[2], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[1], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[2], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[1], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[2], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[1], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[2], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[1], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[2], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[1], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[2], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[1], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[2], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[1], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[2], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[1], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[2], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![1], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[2], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[1], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![2], and what about YOU(!)?[3], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[2], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[3], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[3], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[3], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[3], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[3], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[3], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[3], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[3], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[3], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[3], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[3], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[3], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![3], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[3], and

And what about YOU(!)?[1], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[1], and what about YOU(!)?[2], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[1], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[2], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[1], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[2], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[1], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[2], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[1], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[2], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[1], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[2], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[1], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[2], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[1], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[2], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[1], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[2], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[1], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[2], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[1], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[2], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[1], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[2], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![1], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[2], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[1], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![2], and what about YOU(!)?[3], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[2], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[3], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[3], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[3], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[3], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[3], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[3], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[3], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[3], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[3], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[3], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[3], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[3], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![3], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[3], and

And what about YOU(!)?[1], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[1], and what about YOU(!)?[2], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[1], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[2], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[1], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[2], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[1], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[2], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[1], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[2], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[1], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[2], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[1], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[2], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[1], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[2], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[1], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[2], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[1], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[2], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[1], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[2], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[1], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[2], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![1], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[2], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[1], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![2], and what about YOU(!)?[3], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[2], and a-ROUND here you can't get any faster or smoother than a TIGER(!) on Vaseline[3], and I'll take a-WAY your pain[3], and if you don't come with me, your brain will hurt like a warehouse, I promise you[3], and if you're with me, RIGHT here NOW, you better hang on to yourself, fast and smooth[3], and could it be any better, tiger, even if we had a wailing guitar?[3], and I want us to take it all TOO FAR, just like LEPER MESSIAHS, so let's get spinning, man, like we've never got spun before[3], and are all the days the same when you're a-ROUND and DIZZY?[3], and I'm so happy, you know, and I wouldn't change a thing[3], and let's not think about the passing time - if there is any[3], and I think I need some drums, and I think we need some DRUMS, eh?[3], and I can hear the WAILING GUITAR: it's in my head as loud as LIFE(!)[3], and is my tiger angel a-ROUND or schmoozing with some cracked actor?[3], and ... she turns me on, John - but I'm only SPINNING!!![3], and ... everyone's a tiger here ... and you're a conceptual blog post SUICIDE[3], and

Andrey Hicks - is it a crime now to be a fantasist?

Fake hedge fund manager Andrey Hicks has been sent to prison for forty months! 'For what, Mikey?' For pretending to be a hedge fund manager. 'This is an outrage!' / He also stole $2.3 million from his clients. 'Oh. Well ...' Hicks is a fantasist. He lied about his education and his work history, Voice. And there was his Locust Offshore Management. 'What about his Locust Offshore Management, man? Was it real?' No, it didn't exist. It was a figment of his imagination. 'Bloody hell!' / BUT IS HE ANY WORSE THAN ALL THE HEDGIES WHO SAY THEY'RE STARTING FUNDS AND THEN DON'T START THEM? 'Yes.' You're probably right, Voice. What do I know? 'You know nothing!' And that's the way I like it. You can't go far wrong if you know NOTHING. It's all these hellish people who know SOMETHING that have fucked the world up.

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I ain't got much else to write about - at the moment. I'm hungry. / I'll be working on a conceptual after lunch, and I'm looking forward to it because I'll be writing about me moving a-ROUND like a tiger on Vaseline. It should be a lot of fun.

I've been playing My Heart quite a bit on the guitar. I love the way it sounds now. However, I'm too scared to record it. I think I'll wait until I've written one more song, and then record them together. I probably won't use Gilly Marie. But I'm not sure. I keep changing my mind. I really want THREE GREAT SONGS - so that no one can fuck with me. / Great songs just don't get written these days. I think the last truly great songs were Amy Winehouse's Rehab, Love Is A Losing Game, and Back to Black from 2006. In the Sixties and Seventies though there were a couple of great songs released practically every month.

Oh, there was Neil Young's Ramada Inn recently.

Stuart Powers has soft closed his heart and mind

And these children that you spit on, as they try to change their worlds, are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through. - David Bowie

It's a real shame, but unless you already have access to Stuart's heart and mind you won't be able to get into him with any burning love or new ideas. 'Why, Mikey, why?!' / What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some lads you just can't reach. So you get this soft closing. Which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you, Voice.

This Stuart Powers character is behind Hengistbury Investment Partners. Yes, it's yet another new hedge fund. Christ! / Stu has got his hands on $750 million. 'Eh?! $750 million?!' It's all right for some, ain't it? That's a lot of pocket money!

He used to work at a fund with a load of children. (I've forgotten the name of it.) I think he was only five or six years old himself. However, he's all grown up(?) now. All grown up(?) with his own hedge fund! These teenagers, eh? / I hope it all goes well for him. And I hope he can stick with this Hengistbury stuff for more than a couple of months. I mean, he'll probably lose interest in it at some point. He'll want to get a drum kit or something. Which I won't have a problem with by the way. I'll even audition him for my band if he's serious. 'A big "IF", man, a very big "IF". Will he be serious?' I don't know, Voice. Let's see how things develop.

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Well, I'm serious, about my music. I ain't a kid no more. / I might go out after lunch, or stay in and play my guitar - and make love with my ego like a leper messiah. It all depends on the weather. It was pretty horrible yesterday.

I reckon this blog is stopping me writing loads of songs. I just want a good five-year run on songs like I've had on blog posts.

The European Union is absolutely mental

Nuts, ain't it? 'Tell us something we don't know, Mikey.' And Cyprus, of course. The government, I mean. / Imagine a government just going through people's bank accounts and helping itself. 'Crazy!' It's like me going up to John Paulson and taking his wallet out of his pocket and saying: "Oh, I need a pair of shoes. You don't mind, do you, John? Actually, I was thinking of going on holiday to Cornwall, so I'll take $2,000. No, let's make it $3,000. And I might come back later, John, because I need a new sofa." What would Mr Paulson make of that, Voice? 'He would think you had lost your fucking mind, man.' Fuckin' A he would!

NO! NO! NO! It's worse than that! 'Eh?' Paulson is a billionaire, man. He wouldn't miss $3,000, would he? The Cypriot government is taking money from the bank accounts of ordinary people. It's taking people's savings. 'And they've already paid tax on their earnings, Mikey.' I know they have. THIS IS INSANE!!!

The funny thing is: there are some sick, commie writers around who think you shouldn't invest in gold. They have faith in the banks, you see, and in cash. NO! 'NO!' NO! Put all your money into gold! 'And baked beans!' Yes, and baked beans. 'And guns!' Maybe, Voice, maybe. 'The end is nigh! This is what we've been waiting for. Give the order, Master! The children are ready!' No ... not yet. I'm not ready. 'Will you ever be ready - for the revolution?! What are you scared of?' Be quiet, Voice. Silence!

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Ignore him, dear reader. He can be a bit of a hothead. Well, a hotvoice. He doesn't have a head.

I'm listening to David Bowie's Live in Santa Monica '72. It's much better than the three live albums he released in the Seventies.

When I was in the sixth form at school, kids in the lower years used to shout: "There’s David Bowie!" Because of the way I dressed. And the make-up. Also, there was my regular playing of The Jean Genie on the school piano. And Life on Mars? Happy days!

[No. 104] I'll miss the Fandango road trip this year

Texas! Dom!

And I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[1], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![1], and I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[2], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[1], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![2], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[1], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[2], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[1], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[2], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[1], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[2], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[1], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[2], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[1], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[2], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[1], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[2], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[1], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[2], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[1], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[2], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[1], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[2], and it's SO NEAT[1], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[2], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[1], and it's SO NEAT[2], and I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[3], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[2], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![3], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[3], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[3], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[3], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[3], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[3], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[3], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[3], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[3], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[3], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[3], and it's SO NEAT[3], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[3], and

And I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[1], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![1], and I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[2], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[1], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![2], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[1], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[2], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[1], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[2], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[1], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[2], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[1], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[2], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[1], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[2], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[1], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[2], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[1], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[2], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[1], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[2], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[1], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[2], and it's SO NEAT[1], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[2], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[1], and it's SO NEAT[2], and I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[3], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[2], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![3], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[3], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[3], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[3], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[3], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[3], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[3], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[3], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[3], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[3], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[3], and it's SO NEAT[3], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[3], and

And I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[1], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![1], and I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[2], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[1], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![2], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[1], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[2], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[1], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[2], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[1], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[2], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[1], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[2], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[1], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[2], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[1], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[2], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[1], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[2], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[1], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[2], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[1], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[2], and it's SO NEAT[1], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[2], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[1], and it's SO NEAT[2], and I can't make it to TEXAS in July, it's too far away, but one day ...[3], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[2], and one day(?!) ... oh it may be the last one!!![3], and I've never been to CHATA ORTEGA'S: I can only imagine what it must be like in real life[3], and the Giant set, and the Dom rock - it's the stuff of DREAMS, son[3], and I've never been to SONIC for me dinner[3], and I want three chili dogs and a malt[3], and even better would be to live in the film itself, much better than any DULL real REALITY in the world[3], and I'll make the TRIP in my HEAD, yes[3], and a-ROUND here I can believe anything[3], and I've flown a kite to the MOON, so it's all ... believable[3], and it isn't too late, Carole, and it can't be too late ... to get a grip on life[3], and it don't all change, man, I swear it don't all change, and that's something I need to believe[3], and it's SO NEAT[3], and it's SO REAL ... when you don't think about it, just live it[3], and

What's this Holworthy Capital?

Oh, see if you can guess. See if you can guess what it is. Obviously, it's another new hedge fund. I mean, there aren't enough hedge funds in the world, are there? We need another one. And this is it. Holworthy Capital. I hope you're happy now. Mike Belbeck is the man in charge. He's the big cheese. / It's some sort of volatility arbitrage hedge fund. It will be launched next month. I can't wait! Well, at least he's launching it, eh? A lot of these hedge funds don't get launched, you know. They don't even have a name, half of them. Mike is starting off with $10 million. That's a bit low, isn't it? Never mind. I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

Michael was the driving force behind the genesis and commercialization of trading equity volatility as a single "strikeless" asset in 1997, seven years prior to the CBOE trading the first VIX index futures contract. The conventions he meticulously forged over a decade and a half ago are still in use today. Michael advanced and refined equity "dispersion trading" through the use of "strikeless" volatility. He was the industry's (eh?) to enable the trading and capture of pure equity correlation in swap form. / 'Jesus, Mikey! You did all that?!' No, Voice, you idiot. That's Mike Belbeck, from his LinkedIn profile - and I corrected the spelling mistakes as well. What on earth is "strikelss"? And what is "stikeless"? Get a grip, Mr Belbeck! It's not very professional. / To be honest with you, dear reader, I don't know what "strikeless" is either. Mike's the expert. You'll have to ask him.

It goes without saying that ... 'You wish Mike all the best.' Yeah.

_________________________

I wish everyone all the best. (I'm a fucking humanitarian, after all.) Well, nearly everyone. I don't care what happens to the rotten slags. I don't care about the phoneys. You've got to have standards. Some people are beyond redemption.

I've been thinking: it's great getting back into music after a twenty-year break. Literature is intellectually satisfying, sure. But music satisfies your soul, man.

I've written two songs I could only have dreamed of writing when I was a kid. It's never too late. / What have you given up, dear reader? What have you been putting off? What have you been dreaming of? PULL YOUR FINGER OUT!!! You only have one life.

[No. 103] Jamming

I and I, and you, and me.

And we're jamming[1], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[1], and we're jamming[2], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[1], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[2], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[1], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[2], and we have to struggle, but so what?[1], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[2], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[1], and we have to struggle, but so what?[2], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[1], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[2], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[1], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[2], and here YOU are[1], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[2], and I got you into this MESS, I know[1], and here YOU are[2], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[1], and I got you into this MESS, I know[2], and we're ... JAMMING!!![1], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[2], and we're jamming[3], and we're ... JAMMING!!![2], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[3], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[3], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[3], and we have to struggle, but so what?[3], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[3], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[3], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[3], and here YOU are[3], and I got you into this MESS, I know[3], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[3], and we're ... JAMMING!!![3], and

And we're jamming[1], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[1], and we're jamming[2], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[1], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[2], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[1], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[2], and we have to struggle, but so what?[1], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[2], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[1], and we have to struggle, but so what?[2], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[1], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[2], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[1], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[2], and here YOU are[1], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[2], and I got you into this MESS, I know[1], and here YOU are[2], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[1], and I got you into this MESS, I know[2], and we're ... JAMMING!!![1], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[2], and we're jamming[3], and we're ... JAMMING!!![2], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[3], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[3], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[3], and we have to struggle, but so what?[3], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[3], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[3], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[3], and here YOU are[3], and I got you into this MESS, I know[3], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[3], and we're ... JAMMING!!![3], and

And we're jamming[1], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[1], and we're jamming[2], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[1], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[2], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[1], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[2], and we have to struggle, but so what?[1], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[2], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[1], and we have to struggle, but so what?[2], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[1], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[2], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[1], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[2], and here YOU are[1], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[2], and I got you into this MESS, I know[1], and here YOU are[2], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[1], and I got you into this MESS, I know[2], and we're ... JAMMING!!![1], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[2], and we're jamming[3], and we're ... JAMMING!!![2], and we're all a-ROUND here together, and this is the LIFE, and this is what it means to be ALIVE[3], and when you're feeling down, you've just got to spread the JAM[3], and every day we pay the price with a little sacrifice, and that's the TRUTH[3], and we have to struggle, but so what?[3], and one day ... we'll touch the sun ... with our minds, our souls[3], and I and I, and you, and I, and me, and I, and them - yes, even them - we're all JAMMING[3], and I want to spin a-ROUND forever - ? / oh jamming until I feel sick or I'm totally lost and FOUND(!)[3], and here YOU are[3], and I got you into this MESS, I know[3], and I can't get you out, and I don't want to get you out, and you don't want to leave anyway, do you?[3], and we're ... JAMMING!!![3], and