Monday, 25 March 2013

Schroders is buying Cazenove Capital for £424 million

And I couldn't give a shit. Honestly, I could not give a shit. I ain't got nothing against Schroders, and I ain't got nothing against Cazenove, but I woke up in the cold this morning with all kinds of problems in my life and countless wankers to deal with and I said to myself: "I don't care what the financial news is today. It doesn't matter what it is. It's bound to be a load of bollocks. Even Cyprus. Yeah, even Cyprus will be a load of bollocks. I'm sorry, but let the dickheads write about that EU stuff." Then after struggling for ages to get a signal on my fucking useless Vodafone dongle, I went around all the financial websites and got the sudden urge to slash my wrists - which I managed to resist, thank God. Yes, I say "thank God" because I've got my music to live for now, and I'm going to be playing my guitar after lunch for the rest of the day and I'm going to force out another song because that's all I care about, yeah? And I don't care what Andrew Ross wants to say in a statement. I ain't got nothing against the guy, but it's Monday morning and it's freezing and I don't want to hear that this is a transaction which delivers attractive value for Cazenove's shareholders. I don't want to hear that shit, all right? And Michael Dobson can shut his cakehole as well. Dobson is confident the transaction will create long-term value and benefits for Schroders' clients, shareholders, and employees. So? So what? Do I care? No, I do not.

And this is serious. Pay attention. / Who are these people who do this for a living? Not just working in hedge funds and banks, no, but writing about the nonsense too? Am I one of these people? I've been doing it for six years now, but am I really one of these people? / No. I can't be. I'm the one who’s been spreading the burning love. A lot of people haven't wanted that love, but that's not my fault. I haven't failed. You've got to look at the people I've been trying to help, dear reader. The blame for any failure lies with them. It's a failure of intellect, a failure of passion, and, most of all, a failure of spirit. Fuck 'em.