Wednesday 4 September 2013

[No. 148] Fred's head

This is the stuff Fred Goodwin had going through his head all the time he was at the Royal Bank of Scotland.

And .. are YOU(!) ready?[1], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![1], and .. are YOU(!) ready?[2], and you want ... more?[1], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![2], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![1], and you want ... more?[2], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[1], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![2], and ... alarm clocks[1], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[2], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[1], and ... alarm clocks[2], and ... monocles(?) yes[1], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[2], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![1], and ... monocles(?) yes[2], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[1], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![2], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[1], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[2], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[1], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[2], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[1], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[2], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[1], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[2], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[1], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[2], and I know I don't want it, man[1], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[2], and .. are YOU(!) ready?[3], and I know I don't want it, man[2], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![3], and you want ... more?[3], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![3], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[3], and ... alarm clocks[3], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[3], and ... monocles(?) yes[3], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![3], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[3], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[3], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[3], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[3], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[3], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[3], and I know I don't want it, man[3], and

And .. are YOU(!) ready?[1], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![1], and .. are YOU(!) ready?[2], and you want ... more?[1], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![2], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![1], and you want ... more?[2], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[1], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![2], and ... alarm clocks[1], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[2], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[1], and ... alarm clocks[2], and ... monocles(?) yes[1], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[2], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![1], and ... monocles(?) yes[2], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[1], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![2], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[1], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[2], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[1], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[2], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[1], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[2], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[1], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[2], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[1], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[2], and I know I don't want it, man[1], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[2], and .. are YOU(!) ready?[3], and I know I don't want it, man[2], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![3], and you want ... more?[3], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![3], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[3], and ... alarm clocks[3], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[3], and ... monocles(?) yes[3], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![3], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[3], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[3], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[3], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[3], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[3], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[3], and I know I don't want it, man[3], and

And .. are YOU(!) ready?[1], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![1], and .. are YOU(!) ready?[2], and you want ... more?[1], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![2], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![1], and you want ... more?[2], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[1], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![2], and ... alarm clocks[1], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[2], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[1], and ... alarm clocks[2], and ... monocles(?) yes[1], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[2], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![1], and ... monocles(?) yes[2], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[1], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![2], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[1], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[2], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[1], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[2], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[1], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[2], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[1], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[2], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[1], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[2], and I know I don't want it, man[1], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[2], and .. are YOU(!) ready?[3], and I know I don't want it, man[2], and - as you know, regular reader(s), regular spinner(s) - ... er ... cigarette butts, Sellotape, carpets, false teeth, peanuts, Christmas cards, violins ... rats, and filing cabinets, bananas![3], and you want ... more?[3], and (oh!) torches, balloons, tennis rackets, dice  ... ice cubes, rice, combs, pigs, tissues ... crisps, umbrellas ... spoons![3], and I'm recreating the CHAOS a-ROUND here[3], and ... alarm clocks[3], and this is THE FRED GOODWIN EXPERIENCE[3], and ... monocles(?) yes[3], and it was NO WAY to run a bank, but who cares?![3], and trilby hats, pineapples, flared trousers, magnets, scones, telescopes, cotton wool, baby carrots, earplugs, the novels of Dennis Wheatley[3], and Shandy Bass, trumpets, spanners, lipstick ... squirrels, and signed and framed photographs of Telly Savalas as Kojak[3], and I hope you're digging ... FRED'S HEAD, the way it was ... before he got ... FREE(?)[3], and a-ROUND here FRED could be more than THREE[3], and (Christ!) crumpets, even more trumpets, and ... marbles, bonsai trees, sleeping bags, hamsters, and ... oh[3], and a-ROUND here is where FRED needs to be ... to EXPERIENCE the HELL again ... and get truly BEYOND it!!! / because it can attack at any time[3], and I know I don't want it, man[3], and