Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Maggie Arvedlund wants $500 million for her Turning Rock Capital

Yeah, some sort of fund, equity or hedge, no one is sure yet. But I wish Maggie all the best. She should be able to get the money. '$500 million, boss! That's a lot!' Voice, there is still a lot of money around if you really meditate on it. 'Eh?' You've got to make the money come to you, you dig? The cosmos loves you. The cosmos wants you to be rich. 'Me?!' No, not you, man. I mean people in general. Certainly not you. You're not even a person. 'Thanks.' Don't get upset, for Christ's sake!

Turning Rock will be investing in debt and equity investments. It will focus on smaller and mid-market opportunities in North America and securities and portfolios that can creep under the radar. 'Who said that?!' Ah, some voice from somewhere. 'Oh.' You're not the only voice, Voice.

What else? Our Maggie used to work at Fortress Investment Group. I don't know much more about her. 'LinkedIn?' No. 'Bloomberg?' No, surprisingly. But what are those tossers going to tell us anyway? This person is connected to 0 board members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries. Do me a favour!

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Anything else? 'Ha!' Not in finance, dear reader(s). This is a music blog. / Music? There's a classic Prince concert I want to see again, man, but it's not available anywhere. (There are only a handful of clips online.) I'm talking about his 1986 birthday concert in Detroit. It was a part of his Parade tour and it was brilliant, the best I've seen of him - and he doesn't even touch the guitar once in the whole concert! Maybe stuff like this will start getting an official release now. / As for the rumoured two thousand songs in his vault, I have to be sceptical. 'Why?!' The number is believable, but I'm concerned about the quality. There is a lot of filler on his released albums, especially after the Eighties. So what are the chances of there being great music in The Vault? 'There's probably quite a few gems, Mikey.' Yes, Voice, but the music will need a good editor/archivist/producer, er, whatever ... to go through it all.

My music? Well, I won't be writing over two thousand songs, that's for sure. My dream is to write roughly two hundred high quality ones. I was shocked to find out a little while ago that Cole Porter wrote over a thousand songs. 'Ha!' But only a dozen of them are classics that we all know. 'What a waste of time!' I should imagine the rest are unbearable wank. Do you know what I mean?

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BREAKING NEWS!!! ... I've found the concert on some crazy Chinese website! 'Yippee!' I'll have to watch it later on my phone.

Oh, other news? The doctors' strike? My solution? 'Quickly!' Well, I believe that all junior and senior doctors should resign today. All of them! They can be lured back next week by Jeremy Corbyn, after the present government has fallen. 'Brilliant, Mikey!' Yes, I'm a genius.