Thursday 28 April 2016

Nigel Rosner has got a new job at Hargreave Hale

Unfortunately, I don't know who Nigel Rosner is, and I don't know who or what Hargreave Hale is/are. 'Oh dear.' I'm not going to let it put me off though. I've dealt with worse situations. / Er ... I'm pretty confident, dear reader(s), that Hargreave Hale is a Chinese firm. 'I don't think it is, boss.' Oh, I think it is, Voice. 'Why do you say that?' BECAUSE ... I'm looking at this website called Wealth Manager and there is a picture of three Chinese characters welcoming Mr Rosner to the firm. 'How do you know they're Chinese?' A lucky guess. 'Okay.' Yes, so we've got that sorted out.

This is from the Hargreave Hale website - The roots of Hargreave Hale date back to 1897, when a stockbroking firm was founded in Blackpool by Marsden W Hargreave, to serve the investment interests of his family members and close friends. In 1988, our current Chairman Giles Hargreave merged his own company (Hargreave Investment Management) with the family stockbroking business (Marsden W Hargreave Hale & Co) to create the business we have today.

Er ... 'There's something not right about this, boss.' Oh, I'll tell you what it is. This Wealth Manager thing - a Citywire website, by the way - is having a laugh at our expense. Us and the readers, you dig? 'They've just thrown any picture up, any picture they could find. Too fucking lazy to get a real picture of Mr Rosner being welcomed to the firm by Giles Hargreave and the gang.' Obviously. I mean, does "Giles Hargreave" sound like a Chinese name to you? 'No.' The whole thing is a joke. I presume these people are professional journalists and not just a bunch of nutjobs doing it as a hobby, yeah? 'Who knows?!'

Anyway, let's move on to Mr Rosner himself. Investment manager, apparently. 'Nice.' Our Nigel used to work at Charles Stanley. He was there for over twenty years, according to ... Fund Strategy. 'Fundweb?' Fund Strategy, man. New name. 'Nice.' But that's all anyone knows about him, which is good for me because I'm making plans for Nigel. 'Will you be taking him for a spin later, boss?' Yes. No. 409. Another blank slate for me to work on. 'Yippee!'

...

Anything else? The Daily Mail is quoting the National Enquirer that Prince had AIDS. (Not the New York Times, you understand. No, the National Enquirer.) I think I'll wait for the autopsy report. Not that it matters. Prince is dead now. Gone. However, his music and his legend live ... FOREVER!!!