Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Bill Gross warns of disaster

Well, well ... / And Stephanie Flanders, too. 'And you, boss.' And me, too, Voice. All the best people are warning of disaster these days. It's fashionable. Our Stephanie says that the world has no Plan B. 'Isn't she familiar with The Defamation of Strickland Banks - ?!' No. 'Oh. What about Bill Gross, then? What does he say?' He says financial markets are like a Vegas casino now. Because of the central banks and what they've done. 'Oh dear.' He's also going on about mongrel dogs in the Margin desert. 'Where's the Margin desert?!' I have absolutely no idea, man. I thought I knew all the deserts. 'You're the world's foremost financial shaman, for crying out loud!' Of course I am! But you learn something new every day.

Ha! 'Ha!' Ha! Yeah, yeah, yeah ... disaster - !!! / And, er ... me? What do I warn of? Well, Brexit, obviously. But the prime minister as well. I wasn't criticizing her much before because, well, she wasn't saying anything. BUT NOW? Jesus H. Christ! Do you know what I mean? 'She makes Nigel Farage seem "normal", boss.' And it's actually all these conservatives, you know? I understand that they don't like the modern world, but they can't realistically take us back to the 1950s. 'Or the 1880s, or whatever.' The youth won't stand for it, for one thing. 'With their smart phones and their flash trainers, and all that.' Yeah, okay. / We're just going to end up as a North Korea-style laughing stock. The whole world, and especially Europe, is going to look at us like we're a bunch of fucking freaks.

So, what's the solution? Well, I reckon the MASSIVE FORTY-EIGHT PERCENT ... that voted to remain in a civilized world - 'A world where we don't have to catch rats and eat them for our dinner, boss.' Exactly! Yes, we have to say: Brexit doesn't mean Brexit. 'What good will that do?' Oh, I don't know. The funny thing is, I don't even love the European Union or anything. I just don't want to spend my [future] days sitting in a pool of my own piss and begging for coins, you dig? 'No, you shouldn't do that.' I may have no choice, man. Millions of us may have no choice.


Well, well ... / Ah, let's forget about it, dear reader(s). We're going to get bloody depressed otherwise. / I'm focusing on my music. If I can write four more songs as good as the seven I already have ... [drum roll] ... I'll be able to record an album that's in the same league as Revolver. 'Go for it, Mikey!' Ha! No prisoners, my little invisible friend!