Tuesday, 11 October 2016

Mantle Ridge LP - ?!

What's that?! Ha! You're wondering. Yes. Well, it's Paul Hilal's new hedge fund. 'Paul Hilal, boss?' Yes, Voice. He was a partner at Pershing Square Capital Management, but now he's going it alone with this Mantle Ridge thing of his. And you can imagine what Bloomberg says about him, our Paul ... 'Oh, let me guess -'

This person is connected to 0 Board Members in 0 different organizations across 0 different industries.

Ha! No, you're wrong. 'Oh. What does Bloomberg say, then?' It says -

This person is connected to 1 Board Members in 1 different organizations across 4 different industries.

You see? 'Is that an improvement?' Er ... I think so, man. / So, Mantle Ridge. They reckon it might follow an activist strategy, but no one knows anything else about it at the moment. 'What about AUM, boss?' No one knows nothing about no AUM, Voice. 'Well, that's all right. What about the launch date?' There is no launch date, yet. 'Ha! This is just pie in the sky, ain't it?' Well, no, it's not, actually. The fund has a name, man. A name! Mr Hilal is calling it Mantle Ridge. It does exist. 'Well ...' How many hedge funds have I written about in this blog that didn't even have a fucking name? 'Loads, boss.' Yeah, loads. So let's have a bit of faith in our Paul. He's not going to let everybody down with some bullshit fantasy.

Christ! These funds take time to get together, that's all. Think of the hedge funds that have been failing lately, dear reader(s). Paul needs to get this right ... in his own time - you dig?


Anything else? 'Brexit?' Oh, don't get me started on Brexit. I mean, it's a bigger mess now than it was ... uh, before. And it will only get worse. And if it ever happens? Jesus! 'It won't happen. It can't happen.' Well, I hope God will have mercy on our souls. Seriously. The three guys in charge of the process are utterly delusional. 'They think Queen Victoria is still on the throne.' Ha! You're joking about it, Voice, but I wouldn't be surprised.

Music? What am I listening to? I'm listening to Rubber Soul. It's great, obviously, but Brian Wilson says this is the best Beatles album ... and he's wrong! I understand what game he's playing though. When someone is jealous of someone else's achievement they praise a minor work, rather than the masterpieces. Another example of this: Germaine Greer once said that Harold Pinter's full-length plays were bad plays, but that his one-act plays were the greatest one-act plays in the English language. 'Ha!' You see how it works? Clever, eh?