Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Breakfast in Canary Wharf

Good title for an album, I think. 'Oh, you're not serious, boss?' No, Voice, I'm not serious. I've been invited for breakfast again at Canary Wharf. 'Who's invited you?' This lot -

We'd be delighted if you could join us for a breakfast briefing on Monday 26th June at 8:45am (for a 9am start) for the launch of State Street's latest study, which highlights how today's traditional investment industry growth models are 'obsolete'; and outlines a new model for future growth.

Yeah, State Street. Maybe one day I will go, for a laugh, just to see what it's all about, you dig? 'Ha!' The problem is ... I'm so busy, dear reader(s). And breakfast is for wimps anyway. Didn't anyone tell them that? / Oh, Chirag will be there. 'Who?!' Chirag.

Chirag Patel, Head of Innovation & Advisory EMEA, State Street Global Exchange will be presenting findings from the report, which polled over 500 global asset managers, and cover topics including, but not limited to:

Implication of increased M&A activity amongst asset managers to compete on scale;

Institutions expanding distribution with mobile and robo technology;

Marrying advanced digital intelligence with new human skill sets;

Integrating systems for a unified view of performance and risk;

Consolidating to compete on cost and capability;

Co-investing to access new opportunities.

Okay, okay, okay. It sounds all right. But I'll be washing my hair. I wash my hair every morning, you see. 'Oh, no. You shouldn't do that, boss. It just makes your hair more greasy.' No it doesn't, idiot! Because I use Johnson's baby shampoo. 'Yeah?' Yeah, man. Seriously. I've always used it. 'Oh, okay.' Well, I went through a Timotei phase in my youth, but Johnson's is the best.


Anything else? Politics? I hate politics, man. We all know the sort of squares who go on and on about it, like there ain't no REAL LIFE to be lived. Like they ain't going to die one day and all their bullshit politics die with them.

However, I'll just say one thing. The Conservatives may win tomorrow. Maybe with a large majority. I'm personally hoping they don't get a majority at all and have to form a minority government or something. It'll be great to see the look on Theresa May's face. / I don't think Labour losing will be a big tragedy. The Conservatives will have to own Brexit and five more years of austerity ... with fewer police, a broken NHS, broken schools, uh, BROKEN EVERYTHING, basically. The United Kingdom - if it still exists in its present form - will become a waste land. And the Conservatives will own it. Well, nice ... as they say in Jazz Club.