Tuesday, 13 June 2017

Ian Rumens is the global head of private wealth services

Well, well ... / Yeah, from, uh ... Intertrust again. 'Christ!' There's no harm in it, I suppose. 'Is this a PR email, boss?' Yes, Voice. 'Don't you have any others?' Not at the moment, no. Is there a problem? 'Well, I'm just thinking ... Intertrust again, you know?' So? Pat sent it. 'Pat?! Who the bloody hell is Pat?!' Patricia. 'Oh, Patricia. Of course. Yeah, she's all right.' Yeah, she is all right. I'm glad you approve, Voice. / Now, let's get down to business -

Intertrust has announced the appointment of Ian Rumens as Global Head of Private Wealth Services. Ian is based in the Jersey office.

Ian has been part of Intertrust's private wealth team as director since the acquisition of Elian in 2016. He joined Elian in 2009 from an international legal fiduciary firm based in Jersey. Prior to this, Ian spent six years practising as an English solicitor with leading private client practices in London. He therefore has extensive international experience in both the legal and fiduciary fields.

Okay. Nice. There's a picture of him somewhere. Probably in the attachment. I ain't bothered though. 'I doubt he's an oil painting, boss. Finance guy and that.' I know. / Anyway - oh! 'What?' I've just had a cheeky look at his LinkedIn profile. He's been at Intertrust for ten months! 'Ten months?!' Ten months! This is old news, man! 'Ha! That Pat! What a joker!' Well, we've got to continue with it now, ain't we? Hang on! 'What?' The plot thickens. He's been at Intertrust since 2009! 'What?!' This is beyond a joke! 'No, no, no. Read that bit above.' Where? 'ABOVE!!!' Okay. Oh, he was at Elian, which was bought by Intertrust. Well, I'm confused. I really am. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! 'Boss -'

At Intertrust, Ian will be focussed on expanding Intertrust's client base amongst the world's wealthiest families and high net worth individuals. He will lead an experienced international team of professionals within the private wealth business globally to continue to deliver the highest level of service to entrepreneurial individuals who have cross jurisdictional requirements.

Yeah, that doesn't help, son. I just wish Sauce was here. Sauce could clear things up for us. It's a shame I don't have his phone number ... 'Boss! Listen! A voice out of nowhere!' Oh, Christ! Not another one! 'Listen -'

"I am very pleased to welcome Ian to his new role within the business. His appointment ensures continuity of quality and stability to Intertrust's private wealth team and clients. His experience and leadership skills will help us grow this area of our business, bolstering our position as the leading player in the private wealth services industry."

Who the fuck was that?! Seriously. 'It was Sauce.' Are you sure? 'Yes, it was Sauce. That was his voice, definitely. New role within the business, he says.' Okay. Okay. Well, whatever. Thank you, Voice.



I'm still none the wiser, me. But let's move on, eh? Anything else? Not much. Politics? Er, I don't do politics, dear reader(s), because ... I'm not a goddamn square. However, I will just say I think it's ridiculous the conservatives are pretending that nothing happened last week. 'And they say there's no appetite in the country for another general election, boss.' Ha! There is massive appetite for another election, man.

But laters, yeah?