Wednesday, 2 May 2018

Investec has boosted its multi-asset team!

Yes, boosted its multi-asset team ... which is always a cool thing to do, dear reader(s) - if you can manage it, of course. 'A big if, boss. Not every firm can manage it.' I know, Voice, I know. That's why I said it. 'Oh, okay. / How has Investec boosted the multi-asset team, anyway?' Ha! By hiring Imran Ahmad. 'Oh. / Who's he, then?' Man, he's just a finance guy, like all the others. 'Oh.' He used to be at Standard Life Investments. 'Nice.' He went to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, and the University of Cambridge. 'Great!' He knows exactly what he's doing. There won't be any problems with our Imran. 'Er, I didn't say there would be.' And Russell Silberston is delighted, as you might expect. 'What?! Who the hell is Russell Silberston?!' Ha! He's another finance guy. He's the head of multi-asset absolute return at Investec. 'Okay.' It's all above board. 'And what else do we know about our Russell, boss?' Well ... not a lot, to tell you the truth. Bloomberg probably knows something. 'Oh, right.' Don't be like that. 'What?' Your tone of voice, Voice. Come on. When was the last time we checked Bloomberg for information on a finance guy? 'I don't know, and I don't care.' Oh. Well, okay. I'll check now. Give me a minute, reader(s) ... [a minute passes] ... yes, here we are -

This person is connected to 0 Board Member in 0 organization across 4 different industries.

Uh ... 'Boss, why do you do this to yourself? Why do you do it to your readers? We know what a bunch of wasters those Bloomberg lot are. They're a disgrace!' Yeah, yeah. I had to try, man. I believe in giving people a second chance. 'You've given Bloomberg a million chances. They'll never change.' Okay. All right.


Anything else? Music? Update? Okay, reader(s). Whatever. 'It's their funeral, Mikey.' Shut up! / If I don't write any more songs and just go with the ones I've already got ... I'll have a pretty powerful eleven-track album of roughly forty-seven minutes, and three B-sides [including She Loves Me and It's Just a Joke, Man from the first demo, they don't even make the album, son! Daughter, too, obviously]. So, I'm happy, you dig?

Later(s), crocodile(s)! 'Bye, alligator(s)!' Yeah, bye!