Thursday, 28 August 2008

Gilat Satellite is thinking about suing its investors

What? There's no need for that. What's the problem? Er, something to do with a takeover of the company involving private equity. I can't be bothered to go into all the details. I'm just concerned about this suing business. How about scaring the investors? That would work. And no, I don't mean putting a curse on them. Gerard Griffin at Tisbury Capital wanted me to put a curse on his investors back in March. I told him no way. We're good friends now, but he was upset at the time.

This is what I suggest: Ghosts. Yes, ghosts. Gilat's board of directors should venture on to the astral plane and try and hire a few ghosts to go spooking on its behalf. The ghosts of the dead financiers won't be interested - they can be very sniffy about such cliched behaviour - but there are plenty of ghosts who are not affiliated with any astral groups who would jump at the chance to get involved in something like this and earn a bit of extra cash. A few hauntings would scare the crap out of Gilat's investors, and the unpleasantness of a curse would be avoided. The ideal solution!