Monday, 10 November 2008

Alan Miller: back in the game!

Some wonderful news. Alan Miller - one of the world's greatest living fund managers - has returned after a two-year absence. He has become a partner at SilverStreet Capital. Brilliant! SilverStreet is a fund of hedge funds manager, and the firm has big plans for the future. Watch this space!

But where in the name of Jesus H. Christ has Mr Miller been for the last two years? I have been speaking to Alan, and he told me, 'Michael, mate, I ran away into the desert. And that's where I've been these last two years. I've been living in a cave. I've been dancing beneath the moon with an assortment of ghosts - hand-picked by Ganesh the elephant god himself. I've done it all, and I've seen it all. But I became melancholic after a while. I started to miss the action in the City. So I'm back! Back stronger than ever. I have a new consciousness now. I can feel the power of the cosmos surging through me. Needless to say, money burns within me as well. Oh, by the way, I would just like to say what a big help Ganesh was to me in the desert. Man, I love that friggin' elephant.'


But is that the whole truth? Some newspaper reckons Alan was lured back to the City by Gary Vaughan-Smith (founding partner of SilverStreet). How did he do it? This is what Gary said when I spoke to him this morning: 'Alan will tell you some cock and bull story about how he became melancholic and started to miss the action in the City. The truth is a little different. I actually travelled out into the desert to find Alan after I had heard some alarming rumours about him, and I was shocked by what I found. The guy was running around in a loincloth that hadn't been washed in about a year, and ranting and raving, and chanting the names of obscure gods, and, well, you don't want to know the rest. I was the one who cleaned him up and brought him back to civilization. And I'm the one who is giving him a chance to make a fresh start in life. All that financial shamanism lark didn't work out for him at all. I guess it's not for everyone.'

Well, I suppose there are two sides to every story.