Thursday, 6 November 2008

UBS: legal action over bonuses!

Get the fuck outta here! No, it's true. UBS is considering legal action over the bonuses it paid out to its top executives. The bank wants the money back! Are these crazy muthas for real? I don't know. I really don't know.

I have a friend who works at UBS, a very well-paid friend (I can't name him), and he told me, 'I'm disgusted. I work hard for my money, and I want to keep it. I ain't handing it over to no commie sons of bitches who will probably blow it on outreach workers or shit like that. They ain't redistributing nothing of mine. My shit is my shit. Nobody else's. You better believe it, baby. I'm a capitalist. A proud, mystical capitalist. I've lived in the desert, man. I've burned my brains out on that peyote shit, man. In the good times, UBS was happy for me to live that way. But now we have a fucking crunch, and everything's getting crunched, man, and they want my fucking money. Money I've worked for! They can prise my fucking bonus check out of my cold, dead hand. That's what they can do! I ain't standing for this crap, man. Sons of bitches.'

Feelings are running high. And he's not the only UBS executive who feels this way.