Monday, 24 November 2008

Miles Cresswell-Turner goes to Duke Street Capital

We all thought it would never happen. I was only speaking to Arthur Simmons the other week. I said to Arthur: 'There's just no fucking way Miles will leave Palamon Capital Partners and join Duke Street Capital. Duke Street don't have no meditation rooms for one thing. How would Miles like that? There's just no fucking way.' And Arthur agreed with me. But now we find that Miles has gone to Duke Street Capital, and as a partner, specializing in financial services. How peculiar!

This is what Mr Cresswell-Turner says about this totally mental situation: 'I don't need no freakin' meditation room. What do you think I am, some loser who can't go a few hours without meditating? I have a meditation room at home. I spend hours in there every night after work. I focus on the cosmos. The cosmos loves me. I pray to Ganesh the elephant god. Let me tell you, that goddamn elephant is nuts about me. I wouldn't have even got the Duke Street job without his help. There's too much inaccurate information in your blog, Michael. If you're going to tell your readers the truth, you've got to make sure it actually is the truth. Tell your readers I love Duke Street Capital. I love the culture at the firm. No meditation rooms? Who gives a toss? Tell your readers, man! Tell them I've got all my meditation shit sorted out at home. Tell them about Ganesh!'

Miles, mate, my readers already know all about Ganesh. Take a chill pill. Jesus!