[No. 50] Exhausted? - !

Nearly? - !

And TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![1], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[1], and TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![2], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![1], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[2], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![1], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![2], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[1], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![2], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[1], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[2], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[1], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[2], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[1], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[2], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[1], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[2], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[1], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[2], and TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![3], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[2], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[3], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![3], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![3], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[3], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[3], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[3], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[3], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[3], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[3], and

And TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![1], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[1], and TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![2], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![1], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[2], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![1], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![2], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[1], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![2], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[1], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[2], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[1], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[2], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[1], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[2], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[1], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[2], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[1], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[2], and TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![3], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[2], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[3], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![3], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![3], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[3], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[3], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[3], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[3], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[3], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[3], and

And TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![1], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[1], and TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![2], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![1], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[2], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![1], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![2], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[1], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![2], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[1], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[2], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[1], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[2], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[1], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[2], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[1], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[2], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[1], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[2], and TOTALLY(?!) well nearly, and not quite, no, but nearly, and I'm exaggerating, ha - !, and there's plenty left, and FUCK I'm still a-ROUND - !!![3], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[2], and you've got to look to the future and see RAINBOWS, and you've got to pray to JESUS(!!!) - or a saviour more to your taste - to see you through(???)[3], and NO, no, NO(!!!), and we're on our own, YES, a-ROUND, and get that in your head, and put THAT in your pipe, and smoke it, or I'll smoke you, ------------(!!!)(!!!)![3], and OH, oh, OH(!!!) (yes, if you like) fine, I'll put you in a pipe, and you'll be nothing more than ASHES when I'm done, and then we'll be together: NO MORE LONELINESS - ![3], and NOW I'm on the FLOOR, and my fists are BLOODY, and my eyes are BLURRY, and my teeth are ... FURRY(!!!), and ...[3], and this is how you make me FEEL ill, stranger (than all the others), and are YOU proud of yourself?[3], and do "I" make you FEEL, and can you feel anything at all?, 'Yes, yes, yes!', right, okay, and am I supposed to believe you?[3], and please STOP your talking, and let me lie down, and let me sleep, and let me dream[3], and please STOP, stop, STOP(!!!) your thinking and any feelings you may have because I'm so sensitive to that shit[3], and: THANK YOU, thank you so very much[3], and

Antony Jenkins is the new chief executive of Barclays

And that's all I can say. / I don't know anything about him. No one does(?). Oh, they say he's the nice guy of banking, but what does that mean? The man is a mystery. Yes, I wrote a post about him a few years ago, but I didn't reveal anything. / And now? I don't know. Maybe there's nothing to reveal. Maybe Antony is one of these lost, empty souls dreaming of the fire of money without having the blood that makes it all bearable. I don't know. What do I know?

Maybe someone should take a square look at him, see him with square eyes. I'm not the sha/man for the job, am I?

_________________________

I'll be working on a conceptual later, No. 50. I'm reasonably pleased with the way things are going.

I wrote about transcendence the other day. / Let me clarify. I think there have been writers who have sought transcendence through their writing, like Rimbaud and Mallarme, but the writing is what it is about, if you know what I mean. These writers tried to get out of themselves, but the subject matter was not transcended. / Yesterday's conceptual, No. 49, wasn't about Stephen A. Schwarzman. It was about something beyond him. And the reader can only get beyond by going a-ROUND and a-ROUND as fast as possible. (Well, gradually building up speed.) You've got to get into a certain state, and it will take more than three paragraphs. That's the transcendence. And no other writer has ever done that, until now. As far as I know. What do I know? / This is personal, anyway. I don't care if I'm the only person going a-ROUND. / I'm not even sure that I've explained this properly. Maybe it can't be explained. There's always going to be a problem with words.

My songs are still fucked up. If I could make a living as a songwriter, it would free me, here. It is absolutely essential that I get somewhere with it. I need more energy! I should exercise more. / You don't want to read all this. It's nearly lunchtime.

[No. 49] Stephen A. Schwarzman is a-ROUND

You better believe it!

And SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[1], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![1], and SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[2], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[1], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![2], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![1], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[2], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[1], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![2], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[1], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[2], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[1], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[2], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![1], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[2], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[1], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![2], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[1], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[2], and SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[3], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[2], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![3], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[3], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![3], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[3], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[3], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[3], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![3], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[3], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[3], and

And SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[1], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![1], and SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[2], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[1], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![2], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![1], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[2], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[1], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![2], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[1], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[2], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[1], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[2], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![1], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[2], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[1], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![2], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[1], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[2], and SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[3], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[2], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![3], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[3], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![3], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[3], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[3], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[3], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![3], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[3], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[3], and

And SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[1], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![1], and SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[2], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[1], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![2], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![1], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[2], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[1], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![2], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[1], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[2], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[1], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[2], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![1], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[2], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[1], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![2], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[1], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[2], and SOMEWHERE here we'll find him in pieces because the speed of it is just too much for the RICH man[3], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[2], and he likes it, our Stephen, honestly - !, so his employees won't have to call the police, and there he goes - !, and here he comes - ![3], and you can take a man out of Blackstone, and you can make him more than a man, a-ROUND, and that's the DREAM become REALITY, ain't it?[3], and this is the burning HOT way for all financial souls, and I'll not leave them lonely with just money to keep them cold: YES, we'll touch the sun![3], and our Stephen, A, a, a-ROUND, the past, the present, the future, oh, I know all about Yale, ha!, and Blackstone, and I know about the life beyond the THREE[3], and you don't need SKULLS or BONES not when you have BLOOD and FIRE[3], and SOMEWHERE at a desk alive, and waiting to be released, like all of us, just begging for it[3], and here is the TRUTH, and this is where he really lives NOW: I had to step in![3], and the fucking MAGGOTS can't touch us because they're stuck in their hells imagining their wretchedness is coming back into style[3], and Stephen is a-ROUND, and I am a-ROUND, and you(?!) 'Me?!' are a-ROUND, and this is how you SAVE souls[3], and

Who will replace Stephen Schwarzman at Blackstone Group?

Blackstone is a premier global investment and advisory firm that strives to provide solutions that create lasting value for its investors, the companies in which it invests, and society at large. Yeah, you read it right: society at LARGE. These guys aren't messing around.

Stephen A. Schwarzman is chairman, CEO, and co-founder of Blackstone. He has been involved in all phases of the firm's development since its founding in 1985. Yeah, you read it right: chairman, CEO, and co-founder. Not exactly a lightweight. A serious guy. He ain't messing a-ROUND, although we may be able to arrange something.

However, all good things must come to an end. Stephen will have to retire sooner or later. Some idiot has said that he will die at his desk. My God! There's no need for that! Mr Schwarzman has done everything that capitalism requires. He has been a faithful servant. I can't believe the heartlessness of some people!

So, who will replace him? Will it be Joe Baratta, Blackstone's global head of private equity? No. Will it be Tony James, president and chief operating officer? No, it won't. Or will it be Bennett Goodman, Jonathan Gray, Tom Hill, Laurence Tosi, Joan Solotar? No, none of them losers. How do I know? Well, Stephen has asked me to headhunt someone, someone mystical - a shaman, in fact. He said to me: 'Mikey, get me a financial shaman, a good one. That will upset the squares! Let's do something they won't expect.'

There's no rush though. Stephen has given me a couple of years. I have one or two shamans in mind. But I'm willing to accept CVs. Dear reader, if you're an experienced senior financial shaman who wants to be a chief executive, get in touch. You'll need to be a veteran of the desert, astral and physical. And I'll need to have heard of you. I don't mind strangers from a strange land, but they can't be such strange strangers that I've never heard of them. Mr Schwarzman is relying on me.

Guy de Blonay is getting all risky with his Jupiter Financials Opportunities fund

If you don't believe me, take a look for yourself. But don't stay too long on that website. I don't want them filling your head with all sorts of square financial shit. Obviously, it all depends on who you are. (Who are you? Do you even know?) You may actually be one of the few squares who read this blog. Or you may be one of the many kooks. I don't know. And it's probably for the best that I don't know. The truth can be a terrible thing.

I like Guy (with a little d). The man's a shaman. I'm not surprised that he has doubled his exposure to special situations companies from 5 per cent to 10 per cent. The guy's an animal. Wild, natural. Unpredictable. He has fire in his eyes, and his heart.

I haven't spoken to Guy for a while. I lost touch with so many shamans after shutting down the desert, astral and physical. I hope he's still reading. I reckon he would approve of my new direction, the conceptual stuff. He's the sort who will just jump in and go a-ROUND and a-ROUND without any concern for his mental health. I mean, he's a risk-taker, like me.

I could have played it safe, but I wanted to be infinite. There are no limits to my consciousness when I'm a-ROUND and gone beyond the three. Men like us don't play it safe though. / Yeah, I know Guy approves - in dreams if not in cold reality. Asleep, and awake. I get these feelings, you know? Well, messages. Words, and images - visions! From soul to soul? Maybe. It's hard to explain. I don't even want to explain. Let's have mysteries, more mysteries! The less we understand, the closer to ...

It doesn't matter.

The world is a load of crap, ain't it? The things people concern themselves with. Left-wing politics, right-wing politics, sexuality, race, class, poverty, capitalism, nations, religion, ice cream, spiders ... That's why I like to go a-ROUND, to get clean, and free. And Guy? He's just playing a game. He's no fool. / On the cosmic scale ... oh, why do I bother?

Gertrude Stein

I've just become aware of Gertrude Stein's use of repetition. / I'm not sure I should be too worried about it. Her use of it doesn't seem as conceptual as my use of it. Her use was more of a style, than a concept. And her repetitions weren't exact repetitions, most of the time. They were repetitions with a variation. Of course, she was trying for the same hypnotic effect. There are some important differences though. She was writing novels, and trying to compete with James Joyce. I am writing a blog on the internet. I am creating a new form for the twenty-first century, the internet age. Also, Stein didn't attempt to transcend her subject matter. (And I'm not sure any writer ever has.) But that's what I am doing. By using exact repetitions and asking/expecting the reader to get faster and faster and go beyond the three paragraphs of each post, I am offering the reader (potential) access to a higher reality/literature which is basically shamanic. And that's the concept. / Now, the challenge for me is to achieve greater vision and greater emotional intensity, and to write greater phrases that will satisfy me (and the reader, I suppose). / The ideal is to write conceptual posts that have the power and appeal of great poems.

I'll add this to my Notes page.

[No. 48] Blank

Blank!

And I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[1], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[1], and I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[2], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[1], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[2], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![1], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[2], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![1], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![2], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[1], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![2], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![1], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[2], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[1], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![2], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[1], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[2], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![1], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[2], and I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[3], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![2], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[3], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[3], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![3], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![3], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[3], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![3], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[3], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[3], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![3], and

And I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[1], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[1], and I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[2], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[1], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[2], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![1], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[2], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![1], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![2], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[1], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![2], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![1], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[2], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[1], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![2], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[1], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[2], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![1], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[2], and I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[3], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![2], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[3], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[3], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![3], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![3], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[3], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![3], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[3], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[3], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![3], and

And I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[1], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[1], and I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[2], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[1], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[2], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![1], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[2], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![1], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![2], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[1], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![2], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![1], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[2], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[1], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![2], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[1], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[2], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![1], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[2], and I go BLANK when I have to, when the words get too much, and I get dizzy, and I get itchy[3], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![2], and you could argue that there's something in it, something valuable, something beyond words[3], and I go BLANK - but not here NOW (well, er) because I'm fighting it, and I'm so ooo filling it in, really, and I'm showing some SPIRIT, eh?[3], and it doesn't happen all that often, AND: I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say, I'm glad to say it, yes![3], and I go BLANK, and just look at the s p a c e s, and just imagine what is there and there and there and there and there - !!!!![3], and even with empty phrases and no vision you can still make an impact as long as the reader is willing to bring something to the party[3], and I go BLANK, and HELP ME, please, I'm drowning in NOTHING![3], and a-ROUND here, somewhere, there's got to be a firestorm or a punch in the gut or a great PHRASE to save the moment(s)[3], and I go BLANK, blank, BLANK, and ...[3], and to be or not, no, all happy families are, no, what we cannot speak about we, no - and ---- - ------- JOKE![3], and

[No. 47] From out of nowhere comes the juice

More than half-alive - now?

And when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![1], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![1], and when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![2], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[1], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![2], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[1], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[2], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[1], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[2], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[1], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[2], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[1], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[2], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![1], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[2], and have you ever felt this good?[1], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![2], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[1], and have you ever felt this good?[2], and have you ever felt this FREE?[1], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[2], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[1], and have you ever felt this FREE?[2], and how do you explain this to yourself?[1], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[2], and when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![3], and how do you explain this to yourself?[2], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![3], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[3], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[3], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[3], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[3], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[3], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![3], and have you ever felt this good?[3], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[3], and have you ever felt this FREE?[3], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[3], and how do you explain this to yourself?[3], and

And when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![1], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![1], and when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![2], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[1], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![2], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[1], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[2], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[1], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[2], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[1], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[2], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[1], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[2], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![1], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[2], and have you ever felt this good?[1], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![2], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[1], and have you ever felt this good?[2], and have you ever felt this FREE?[1], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[2], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[1], and have you ever felt this FREE?[2], and how do you explain this to yourself?[1], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[2], and when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![3], and how do you explain this to yourself?[2], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![3], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[3], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[3], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[3], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[3], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[3], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![3], and have you ever felt this good?[3], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[3], and have you ever felt this FREE?[3], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[3], and how do you explain this to yourself?[3], and

And when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![1], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![1], and when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![2], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[1], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![2], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[1], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[2], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[1], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[2], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[1], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[2], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[1], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[2], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![1], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[2], and have you ever felt this good?[1], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![2], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[1], and have you ever felt this good?[2], and have you ever felt this FREE?[1], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[2], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[1], and have you ever felt this FREE?[2], and how do you explain this to yourself?[1], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[2], and when you're in, you're in, and when you're gone, you're GONE, ah my beautiful believer(s)![3], and how do you explain this to yourself?[2], and out of NOWHERE comes the JUICE, and I ain't living without it now, and I'm passing a bit of it on ... to YOU!!![3], and you can have a taste, and you can have it in your MIND, and you can have it in your SOUL[3], and for the squares: the juice ain't money, not here it ain't[3], and don't ask me for no explanation because you've got to experience it for yourself to KNOW, yes?[3], and this is the way it has to be, a-ROUND[3], and I haven't had any complaints, and who would fucking dare when I'm like a little god creating my own universe?[3], and, oh - 'Where's the ... ?', no, no, no, there ain't no ..., ha!, please I want you to understand: this is what it's like approaching the THREE and going BEYOND the THREE![3], and have you ever felt this good?[3], and it can't, it can't ... be bad, can it, a-ROUND?[3], and have you ever felt this FREE?[3], and "I" am so light and HEAVY now: I am a grain of sand on earth, and the sun in the sky[3], and how do you explain this to yourself?[3], and

Plural Investments is shutting down

As one hedge fund is born, another one dies, I think. Or something like that. What do I know? Well, anyway, Matt Grossman has had enough. He says he wants to spend more time with the family. I hope he doesn't mean my family. I haven't vetted him. Matt could be anyone. He could be a chivato. 'Yeah, man.' Anything is possible in the present climate. 'Mikey, this garbage was recognized by my associate at lunch ... from several years ago in New York. He was an informer for the police. He put Vito Duval and the Ramos brothers, Nello and Gino, away for life.' Don't be so bloody ridiculous, Voice! You've been watching too many films! / Sorry, Matt, my friend, if you're reading this. The Voice is a bit of a fantasist. You can join my family any time you like. Just say the word and I'll fast-track you.

_________________________

For Christ's sake! That voice is going to get me in trouble one of these days. As one voice dies, another voice is born. I'll never be free of the voices, will I?

The Voice has got me thinking about lunch now. Egg sandwich today. And cheese and onion crisps from Walkers Crisps Asset Management. (They're the best.) And a peach yoghurt. And a Pepsi. / But I'm not going to tell you what I had for breakfast. This isn't one of those blogs.

After lunch, I'll get to work on No. 47. Not sure what I'm going to do yet. I'll just jump in and go a-ROUND and see what happens. Sink or swim!

Bob Doll at BlackRock and a problem with some US equities stuff

I doubt that it's anything to worry about though. These finance guys get so hysterical, don't they? There's been a rally. But there's a looming fiscal cliff. That's a risk, apparently. I don't know. Sounds a bit far-fetched to me.

I'm not even going to spend another minute on it. Eurozone shit as well. What's the point? It won't affect us. When the end comes, we'll be prepared.

I can't take these people seriously. It's all: blah blah blah, isn't it? What does any of it mean? There's a three-legged cat in my street. I get more sense out of him.

We'll be prepared. Yes, I'm sure we'll be able to find a little deserted farm in Cornwall - somewhere we can be safe while we're waiting for the storm to pass. We'll make our own pasties and cider. We'll sing songs in the evening. I'll play the guitar. And we'll make plans for taking over, after the financiers and the regulators and the politicians have all perished. And I'll show the way. The human race can't survive without a leader. I won't mind the responsibility. 'Mikey, you've already taken responsibility for all the children. And they appreciate it, man. They would do anything for you. Just give the order.' Not yet, Voice. Not yet. But I'm touched. They're the family I never had.

It seems Eric Rosen wants a hedge fund as well, a credit one, Jesus!

He's not happy at UBS, even though he's some sort of co-head, a co-head of fixed-income, currencies and commodities, amazingly. He's leaving next month. The other head, Matthew Zola, will be taking over the whole operation. (I wish these "people" had bodies.) Yeah, Eric has only been at UBS a year. Maybe he's ambitious, I don't know. Anyway, he reckons he's starting a new hedge fund. 'Of course he is, Mikey. Does this hedge fund have a name?' What do you think, Voice? None of these hedge funds have names. 'Pie in the sky, ain't it?' You said it, Voice. But I suppose it's nice to have a dream. 'I have a dream. One day, I want a body. I want to be more than a voice.' Well, good luck with that. (I really thought I had killed all the voices. Am I just a mad head full of voices? How can I judge men like Eric and Matthew?) 'You can't! Only God can judge them.' Shut it! These guys aren't thugs 4 life!

Credit hedge funds? What will they think of next? And where do they get all their enthusiasm from? It's a funny old world.

_________________________

I've been thinking about Cornwall again. I hope I can get away for a few days in September. I want to go to Looe. I haven't been there for ten years. Twenty years ago, I spent two months in Looe, in winter. Well, near there. Between Polperro and Looe. Near Talland Bay. Half a mile away, roughly, from Talland Bay. About two miles from Looe. And two miles from Polperro. Right in the middle, you could say. Might be three miles. I can't remember. It doesn't matter, does it?

I have this recurring dream. 'You have dreams too, Mikey?' Yeah. I dream I'm on holiday in Looe, but I leave without visiting Polperro. I actually wake up horrified. I've had that dream/nightmare seven or eight times now. I won't make that mistake in September, if I go.

In Polperro, there's a bench overlooking the sea, dedicated to a soldier who died in the First World War. After the pub at lunchtime, a few ciders, I used to sit there staring at the mist, listening to Leonard Cohen's Songs From A Room while eating chocolate limes. Happy days!

[No. 46] End of summer blues

We can't hold on to the good times.

And it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[1], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[1], and it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[2], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[1], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[2], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[1], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[2], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[1], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[2], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[1], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[2], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![1], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[2], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[1], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![2], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[1], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[2], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[1], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[2], and it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[3], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[2], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[3], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[3], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[3], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[3], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[3], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![3], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[3], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[3], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[3], and

And it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[1], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[1], and it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[2], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[1], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[2], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[1], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[2], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[1], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[2], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[1], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[2], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![1], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[2], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[1], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![2], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[1], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[2], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[1], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[2], and it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[3], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[2], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[3], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[3], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[3], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[3], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[3], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![3], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[3], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[3], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[3], and

And it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[1], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[1], and it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[2], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[1], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[2], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[1], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[2], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[1], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[2], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[1], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[2], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![1], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[2], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[1], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![2], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[1], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[2], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[1], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[2], and it's not the end of the summer BLUES, it's just the start of them, until we get to autumn, and then there will be a whole different level of BLUES[3], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[2], and there'll be NEWS at the end of the summer BLUES, and that will make us feel worse, much worse[3], and maybe we can make this moment last, a-ROUND, I don't know, a-ROUND, oh God[3], and if we refuse to believe in bad times, yes, and if we ... make our own reality, and if ...[3], and I want to go somewhere it's always summer, always HOT, but not so HOT that you have to crawl on the floor[3], and if we can get it right, our reality, and if ...[3], and we'll crawl on the floor, now, sticky lino, and we'll look for somewhere to rest, in the fridge?, in the summer, and FOREVER![3], and I WANT, and I don't know, really, but I WANT, and I WANT, and if we could change ...[3], and I'd sing a song about it if I had the right words, for the end, the blues at the end of summer[3], and I've got these phrases a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, a-ROUND my head, and they'll have to do[3], and

No news is always good news

Yet again there's nothing for me to write about. It's still August. All the decent people are still on holiday. Only the mindless slaves are at their desks, and I'm not going to write about them.

You can't go far wrong with no news. It's nice to have a month like this. If only more people had the guts I have. They can't admit it, you see. Not even to themselves. They need to believe that something is going on. But nothing is going on.

The sooner I make the switch to full conceptual mode the better, as far as I'm concerned. I'll leave the "news" to all the lame-os. They can keep it! I'm in no position at the moment though. It's frustrating. One day (any day now?) I shall be released!

Now we have Three Arrows Capital to look forward to

A new hedge fund that will be launching in September. Kyle Davis and Su Zhu are behind it. These guys have been best friends since forever. They even shared a bath when they were kids. We're talking real close. Bosom buddies. They used to operate out of Hong Kong. But they grew tired of all that mild-mannered janitor shit. So now they've got a hard-on for San Francisco. A new place, a fresh start. I'm sure you get the picture. / I've got the picture. I'm going to make a fresh start, you know, move down to Cornwall, take my guitar with me. Man, I'll be a wandering minstrel, singing for my supper, my pasty. A couple of pints of cider, and there'll be nothing to worry about. I'll sleep under the stars.

On the beach at night, with a fat red moon in the sky. I'll forget all about the banks and the hedge funds. You can come with me ... you, you, you! I'll be the man, the leader of the tribe. You'll be the children. 'We're already the children, Mikey!' Of course, Voice. / When the end comes, the collapse of the financial system, we won't care. We'll grow our hair. We'll wear flowers in our hair! We'll be able to start over. 'It will be like the Garden of Eden!' And we won't need money. We'll make our own pasties and cider.

I don't know what Kyle Davis and Su Zhu are looking for in San Francisco. 'San Francisco died at the end of the Sixties, man.' Yeah. They would be better off coming to Cornwall with us. Maybe they will. Everyone is welcome! Everyone with a soul!

_________________________

Did you read Felix Salmon the other day? Jesus H. Christ! He wrote some crap about how artists only make it, the big time, through luck, not talent. Bullshit! When I've finished writing my songs, I'll get a publishing deal for them because I'm working on the same level as Beatles and Bacharach. Luck won't have anything to do with it. I know it will be difficult to get publishers to listen, but the first publisher that listens seriously will want the songs. And remember: the harder you work, the luckier you get. / This is why I'm getting pissed off with the financial blog/news scene. It's full of people who know plenty about finance, but seem to know jackshit about anything else. Not exactly well-rounded individuals, are they?

[No. 45] I am a master of reality

Impersonal, fast - gone!

And it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![1], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[1], and it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![2], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[1], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[2], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[1], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[2], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[1], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[2], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[1], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[2], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[1], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[2], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[1], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[2], and it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![3], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[2], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[3], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[3], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[3], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[3], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[3], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[3], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[3], and

And it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![1], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[1], and it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![2], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[1], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[2], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[1], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[2], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[1], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[2], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[1], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[2], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[1], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[2], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[1], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[2], and it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![3], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[2], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[3], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[3], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[3], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[3], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[3], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[3], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[3], and

And it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![1], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[1], and it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![2], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[1], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[2], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[1], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[2], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[1], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[2], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[1], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[2], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[1], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[2], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[1], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[2], and it's so quiet at this speed, so fast and low, and with the voices out of NOWHERE, unintelligible, the ghosts, a-ROUND: it's like a dream to believe in, and it is a dream to believe in![3], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[2], and it's the sound of the wind and the rain, and it's the sound of the sea, and it's so strange, and they're the VOICES of nature, so wild, or they're the old murmuring of various gods, long dead[3], and they've been here forever, and they'll never go away, and they're a-ROUND just behind, chasing, with their invisible bodies, and they mean no harm, and it's only a game[3], and they keep on going, going on, and it's a great thing, oh, a great game, from births to deaths, a-ROUND, a-ROUND, these spirits are a-ROUND: they force life through space and time[3], and FASTER, with eyes that are closed, and words that are almost forgotten: it's the MOMENT to hold on to[3], and DEEPER, with breath that is heavy, and light that is rarely seen: this is the EXPERIENCE of that moment[3], and they wanted a whole carnival of pleasure and pain as a test of character(s), and they wanted someone, ANYONE, to escape from it, and so here is the transcendence more than THREE[3], and only MASTERS of REALITY go a-ROUND like this[3], and

All the news is just noise

Yeah. All of it. Noise. Blah blah blah. Noise. Chatter. There's no one with a soul in the places I'm looking for news. Barely human.

Will they ever stop? / Maybe we should admire them. So committed! I don't know. They should be committed. Crazy. They'll never get clean and elevated, like us. We've seen the light, and we're chasing after it. But they just roll around in dirt in darkness. What kind of life is that?

[No. 44] Open

To everything!

And there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[1], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![1], and there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[2], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[1], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![2], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[1], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[2], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[1], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[2], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[1], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[2], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[1], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[2], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[1], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[2], and / I can't find the words(?)![1], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[2], and there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[3], and / I can't find the words(?)![2], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![3], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[3], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[3], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[3], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[3], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[3], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[3], and / I can't find the words(?)![3], and

And there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[1], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![1], and there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[2], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[1], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![2], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[1], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[2], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[1], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[2], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[1], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[2], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[1], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[2], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[1], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[2], and / I can't find the words(?)![1], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[2], and there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[3], and / I can't find the words(?)![2], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![3], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[3], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[3], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[3], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[3], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[3], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[3], and / I can't find the words(?)![3], and

And there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[1], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![1], and there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[2], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[1], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![2], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[1], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[2], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[1], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[2], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[1], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[2], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[1], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[2], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[1], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[2], and / I can't find the words(?)![1], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[2], and there's a problem: one person, a limited view of life, not being part of a whole world of experiences - and that's why I'm a-ROUND here to get away from such a fate[3], and / I can't find the words(?)![2], and I won't allow myself to get dragged down with the others into the sewer of black and white and right and wrong - not when there's freedom on the horizon![3], and I'm convinced that the GREAT UNIVERSAL BEING lives in the grey (multicoloured!) spiritual/mental zone with honest, undeluded humanity, which means It's often lonely[3], and I'm so OPEN and happy(?)!, and one day I'll show it - my openness - with such force that my readers will beg for mercy[3], and I'm a blue WHALE, and reality is my ocean, and my words are the krill, so ...[3], and it's a shamanic thing, and you don't even need to read it after you've gone through it past the THREE[3], and very few actually do go through it, and that's why we have the many who are so wretched[3], and the stuff they're doing, yes, the many, and the stuff they're believing, and the stuff they're dreaming of? - my suffering mind has touched all of it, and it all truly sickens me[3], and / I can't find the words(?)![3], and