Thursday, 19 September 2019

Negative economic outlook!

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's no surprise, is it? 'What's this, boss?' Bad news, Voice. 'Is there any other kind?' Well, I've got some good news about my vocal strength. 'Oh.' Big time!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Listen! You keep doing that - ah, THIS!!! - aggressively, up and down, like, and you're going to be all right, dear reader(s). If you're a singer, of course. I reckon I've managed to double the strength of my voice - not him - just this week. 'I'm feeling so strong, boss!' Not you, idiot!

Rehearsing is a real joy now. This World Don't Mean a Thing and Malibu are pop/rock ballads with big lift-off choruses, and they need a strong voice. 'Me?! I'm not getting involved. I don't have the talent.' Shut up!

Anyway, PR email ...

Negative sentiment towards the economic outlook for the UK over the next 18 to 24 months amongst the UK investment community has increased sharply from 49% in 2018 to 67% in 2019, according to the annual Investment 360 Index by CIL, the leading management consultancy. The Index is based on research amongst private equity investors, business management teams, corporate debt providers and business advisors in the UK and has been running for three years.

Oh dear.

The Index also shows that dissatisfaction with Government has leapt from 50% last year, to 68% currently. Just 5% of those polled felt that the Government is doing a good job. However, when it comes to the performance of the Bank of England, sentiment is the most positive yet at 60%, thanks to a steady hand on the tiller against the backdrop of political and economic uncertainty.

Christ! 5 percent felt that the government is doing a good job! Ha, ha, ha! 'Who on earth are those 5 percent mugs, boss?!' That's what I'm wondering, man.

In terms of the long-term economic outlook, sentiment remains firmly in positive territory for 56% of investors, a slight decline of 4% compared to last year, thanks to the UK's strong, attractive fundamentals.

Ah, well. I know what that is. WISHFUL THINKING. You dig? Tell me you dig, kook(s). Please!

Okay, okay. I think we better hear from Giles Johnson ...

Commenting on the findings, Giles Johnson, managing partner at CIL, says: "The uncertainty caused by Brexit is weighing heavily on investors in the short-term. There are a range of unknowns affecting the global economies, such as trade wars. However, thanks to sound monetary policy from the Bank of England and strong fundamentals, Brexit aside, the long-term outlook remains positive."

Yeah, yeah. / Giles, mate, I've got two words for you ... [drum roll] ... WISHFUL THINKING. You dig? Come on, son. Be realistic. FFS!


Right. Anything else? Er, not really, no. I'll be writing another post later. Either music, or ... another PR email? 'You love these emails, don't you, boss?' Oh, I do!

If only I had known years ago that it was this easy to be a journalist! Never mind. My life is full of missed opportunities.

Later(s), news fan(s)!