Wednesday, 25 September 2019

Oh, pensions

Yeah, it's a bit boring, but, b-b-b, BUT(!) - 'Pensions?!' I've got to write about something, Voice, you dig?

Anyway ...

Legal & General welcomes the findings of the report from the British Business Bank, The Future of Defined Contribution Pensions, which concludes that Defined Contribution (DC) savers are missing out on potentially higher returns due to their inability to invest in the Venture Capital and Growth Equity asset class.

Eh?! Eh?! I didn't see this report! 'Were you looking for it, boss?' I didn't know about it, man. I didn't know that the thing even existed. 'Oh dear.' Christ.

Okay, okay. PR email. Obviously. 'Ha!' Uh.

Legal & General is proud to have contributed to the report by participating in The Defined Contribution Pensions Scheme Feasibility Study Steering Panel, a great example of collaboration between the public and private sectors with the shared goal of enabling better outcomes for people saving for retirement.

They've got a panel as well! 'Bloody hell!' I didn't know about any panel. Why wasn't I told?

As the UK's largest DC pension manager, with £85 billion assets under management, Legal & General is committed to improving outcomes for DC pension savers at every stage on their retirement journey. Research from the British Business Bank has found that a small allocation to Venture Capital and Growth Equity could have a material impact on an individual's total retirement savings over the long term. However, UK DC pension savers have historically been excluded from Venture Capital and Growth Equity due to fund structure, liquidity and fee constraints. Legal & General therefore supports this key initiative, which lays important foundations for democratizing access to the asset class for DC savers.

Yeah, yeah. Pensions. Listen! I ain't got no pension. And it's too late for me now, I suppose. 'Aren't you worried, boss?' No. 'Why not?' Well, firstly, retirement is for wimps. 'Oh.' But, secondly, I'm a nihilist, you dig? 'Oh.' Yeah. Big time.

[Actually, I'm a free spirit.]

Ha, ha, ha! I won't even need a pension, dear reader(s). Not when I'm a rock star. Not when I'm living in my big house in Malibu.

Besides, Bodhi didn't have a pension, did he? I mean, if everything turns to shit, like. I'm just saying.

Well, well ... / I suppose we better hear a word or two from our Nigel. 'Our Nigel?' Nigel Wilson. 'Oh, him.' Yeah.

Nigel Wilson, CEO of Legal & General, comments: "The UK has some of the best universities in the world, which are fuelling innovative, commercial ideas including AI and data-driven businesses as well as scientific breakthroughs. However, the innovative companies at the forefront of this disruption are now staying private for longer, delivering returns to a small group of private market investors. We welcome the findings of today's report and look forward to rising to the challenge laid down by the British Business Bank by delivering a viable solution for DC clients which democratizes access to this important asset class. The goals of this initiative are well-aligned with Legal & General's commitment towards Inclusive Capitalism, as we aim to share the benefits of the Innovation Economy with retirement savers in the UK."

Okay, okay. Thank you for that, Nigel. Uh. I don't know how you do it, working in pensions, BUT(!) ... somebody's got to. I take my hat off to you, son!

Oh, by the way, kook(s) ... I've forgotten! I was going to tell you something. But I got distracted for a couple of minutes. Never mind. Maybe it'll come back to me. Another time.


Right. Anything else? Er, not a lot, really. 'No?' I'm still doing the vocal go-gos. 'Great!' I'm still playing my guitar. 'Great!' I'm still keeping the faith. 'YES - !!!' [In myself, obviously.] You dig? Everyone?! Oh, I hope so.