Monday 6 April 2020

Four in ten

Four in ten? Oh, it could mean anything. 'But what does it mean, boss?' It's a mystery, Voice. I'm afraid we will never know what four in ten means. 'Ha, ha, ha!' What? 'It's a PR email, isn't it?' How do you know that? Are you looking over my shoulder? 'Yes.' Well, can I have some privacy, please? 'No.' What a life!

Four in ten UK businesses abandon banking services applications over slow due diligence processes.

That's a shame. Let's hear more!

London, Monday 30th March 2020 - 38 per cent of UK businesses have deliberately abandoned an application for banking services in the last year due to 'slow due diligence processes', according to new research from Encompass Corporation, the Know Your Customer and regulatory technology (RegTech) specialist.

So, uh ... 'How old is this email, boss?' Take a wild guess, Voice. 'Seven days?' Yes. All the other emails are about The Thing.

The survey, which polled 200 business decision-makers in large and medium sized businesses, was conducted between Wednesday 18th March and Thursday 19th of March, just after the Chancellor announced a £330bn rescue package to support UK companies through The Thing crisis. The research asked businesses about the challenges they face in getting access to financial support, as well as attitudes towards cyber security and regulation.

In addition, the polling found that businesses plan to prioritize spending on cyber security over anti-financial crime compliance in 2020, with 44 per cent putting plans in place. However, a large 81 per cent of organizations agree that they are confident in their understanding of exposure to financial crime and that they already have the processes in place to address it.

According to the polling results, 44 per cent of companies said they did not regularly put customers and suppliers through formal Know Your Customer (KYC) processes. Additionally, 60 per cent admitted that there has been no training for staff about how to be compliant with the Fifth Money Laundering Directive (5MLD).

Meanwhile, nearly one third of businesses (29 per cent) said they now trust challenger brands and fintech providers more than traditional banks.

Interesting. But we still haven't heard one word from Wayne Johnson. Not one word! Where the hell is he?! 'Here he is, boss -' 

Wayne Johnson, CEO and co-founder, Encompass, comments: "It is disappointing that complex, expensive and overly-long due diligence processes are preventing British businesses from getting access to the finance and banking services they urgently need. Everyone recognizes that it's vital to ensure correct background checks on new customers to prevent money laundering and criminal activity, but these checks should not act as a hindrance to legitimate companies gaining access to the credit and services they require. It's also worrying that so many companies admit to minimal KYC onboarding processes, as well as offering zero training on important directives such as 5MLD. It's time that banks and financial services organizations harnessed the power of analytics and automated solutions to swiftly and securely adhere to these important compliance processes. Doing so will unblock the logjam and get companies the access to necessary financial support during this challenging time, and without delay."

Yeah, yeah. All right, Wayne. Thank you very much.

ENDS

...

Anything else? It's raining a bit.

If you're human, don't pretend you're nice. For my sake, just be human, and honest. I like honesty.

It's when the bodies are gone and the hellish subjective consciousness ness nesses are gone. Uh, yes. That's when "we" will have a chance of being nice, all one, together. No personalities to make a mess of everything.

Lie to me and I will see your lies. But lie to yourself and maybe you will be clueless because you don't know what you're doing.

I'm telling you the truth.

If you want a friend, get a rock by the sea. Hold it close. A rock that has seen dinosaurs and humans. A rock that doesn't care. Man, it can't care!

Listen! The cold and heartless sea lives forever! Well, sort of.

Never mind, eh?