Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Peter Kraus: I ain't missing you at all

That's a lie. A goddamn lie. Peter Kraus has been missing John Thain, and now he has joined him at Merrill Lynch. I'm welling up over here. I love a happy ending.

For those of you who don't have a fucking clue what I'm talking about - and may not even care - let me explain. Peter Kraus used to be a fund manager at Goldman Sachs, and John Thain used to be his boss. Then - sadly - John left. But there was no way, just no way, these two were going to stay apart for long. I'm not saying they were star-crossed lovers or anything of that sort. That would be so ridiculous. Why did I even mention it? But I am saying Peter and John have always been soulmates. I wouldn't be at all surprised if they knew each other in a past life. Remember that John Thain was a Red Indian chief at one point. God knows what Peter Kraus was.

Soulmates are important in business. Soulmates always get results. You put two people together who can read each other's minds, whose chakras are synchronized, whose auras are the same colour, and the next thing you know, the money is rolling in. And that is what is going to happen at Merrill now. Peter and John are together again, and woe betide any motherfucker who tries to split them up.