Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Ken Thompson fired by Wachovia

The American bank Wachovia removed its chief executive Ken Thompson yesterday - only three weeks after the bank removed him as chairman but said he would continue as the chief. What has changed since then?

Well, a lot can change in three weeks, especially when you're dealing with spirits and thought-forms on the astral plane. Apparently, Lanty Smith - Wachovia's new chairman and interim chief executive - has been hanging out on the plane, and the whole experience has affected the man quite a bit. He told me, 'I'm having the time of my life with this astral shit. Why didn't anyone tell me about this before? Just wait till the board hears about it. Those guys will be crazy for it, I'm sure. Anyway, about Ken. We had to let him go. There's a spirit on the plane who goes by the name of Mathias Greenback and he told me that there were a lot of bad vibes surrounding Ken. Something about his aura. So I made sure we got rid of him. That's business.'

Lanty, mate - a few words of advice. Don't tell the board about the astral plane just yet. It may not understand. Also, don't listen to Mr Greenback. Firstly, he's not a spirit, he's a thought-form. Secondly, this thought-form was created by Jack Pickles. So anything he tells you will - nine times out of ten - turn out to be a crock. I fear you've made a mistake with Ken Thompson. You've just fucked a good man out of his job.