Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Nilesh Shroff: fined and banned by the FSA!

What the fuck?! What is it with these FSA motherfuckers? Why are they banning and fining all my dearest friends at Morgan Stanley? This is persecution! First Matt Piper, then David Redmond, now Nilesh Shroff. Yes, Nilesh - a former Morgan Stanley trader - has been fined £140,000! Jesus H. Christ! Does the FSA think he is made of money?

I have been speaking to Nilesh, and this is what he told me: 'Mikey, man, why me? What have I done to deserve this, man? (Nilesh, mate, it's spite, pure and simple.) You reckon? (Yeah. These FSA nutjobs see you burning in the desert with me, Big Herb, Ganesh, and the ghosts of the dead financiers, and they don't like it.) You're saying they're cold earth wanderers, Mike. Is that what you're saying? (Of course. They don't care that you were pre-hedging or any shit like that. What winds them up is the fact that you have the mystic love inside you.) The mystic love of money, yeah? (Fuckin' A, Nilesh! The mystic love of money. That's what I'm talking about. That's what the ancients believed in. They passed that love down to us, and -) It burns within us, Mike. (Of course it fucking does. Now, if the FSA can't handle that, it's not our problem. Fuck 'em.) We'll have the last laugh, Mike. (Fuckin' A we will! We'll be the ones having it large this summer.) The ceremony in the desert, you mean? (What else? It will all come good in the summer, mark my words.) Man, you're like a god to me, you know that, don't you, Mikey? (Hey, I'm only a shaman, but you never know. Maybe one day.) It's gonna happen, man.'

What about that, eh? Nilesh Shroff. What a trader! What a man!