Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Robert Maguire has been hired by Perella Weinberg Partners

Yes, he has. Rejoice! According to my sources - and I think we have to believe the bums - Mr Maguire is going to be a partner at PWP. Interestingly, Bobby worked at Morgan Stanley for more than twenty years, and he will now be reunited with old colleagues from the bank: Joe Perella, Paulo Pereira, and Derek Starr-Child. Only one problem. Bobby and Derek once had a bad trip together in the desert. They have not spoken to each other since. Or rather, Bobby refuses to speak to Del.

Well, I am one person who is on speaking terms with Del. This is what the mad bastard told me: 'Mike, Bobby Maguire really hates me. There's a lot of bad blood between us. Bobby still blames me, you know. (For the bad trip, you mean?) Well, yeah, bad for him, man. I was the experienced one. I should have known. I should have looked out for him. (What happened, Del?) He had visions, man. And he heard voices. (So?) Bad visions, man. Bad voices. (It happens to the best of them, Del. But it’s nothing to piss your pants over.) Mikey, he saw the devil. He heard the voices of all the damned. (And he didn't like that, no?) Oh man, what do you think? Bobby is a great guy, but he's a square. I should have never taken him out there. Something else, I think there was touch of jealousy in his attitude towards me afterwards. (What do you mean?) Well, while he was being tormented by the sights and sounds of hell, I was having a realization about the nature of God and our relationship with Him. (Get the fuck outta here!) No, it's true, Mike. I realized that religion is just man-made shit, man, and that God has no truck with it. God is the spiritual force of the cosmos. A truly spiritual person worships life when they worship Him. But He is not a he anyway, you dig? He is not a personality. Just a thing, man. A force. This force gives you what you need and what you deserve. So there is no point in praying to ask for stuff. When you ask God for help, you are encouraging demonic forces to enter your life. (Why?) Because you should not ask. It is evil to ask. And it is evil to lose faith. You've heard stories of religious dudes who have lost their faith, yeah? (Oh yeah.) Their wife dies in an accident or something, and suddenly they don't believe in God no more. (Yeah.) Well, those cats never loved God in the first place, man. It was just like a protection racket for them, man. (Far out!) You dig? (Fuckin' A, I do, Del.) So that's the secret, Mike. Love God. Love life. Don't ask for shit. Don't expect shit. And you'll be all right.'

Jesus H. Christ! No wonder Bobby Maguire was pissed at him.