Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Tushar Morzaria is going to Barclays as the bank's new finance director

And that's about as exciting as it gets in the middle of summer. Christ! Personally, I'd like to know why I fucking bother. 'You have to bother, Mikey. You know the situation.' Yes, Voice, I know the situation. I'm lost in finance. It's a tragedy. 'That's life. That's what all the people say. You're riding high in -' Shut up, man. My miserable life? People will write about it one day. 'Someone will make a movie for sure.' Unless I can engineer my escape! 'With your dodgy hand? What are the odds? Are you back on the guitar yet, boss?' No. / Let's concentrate on Tushar Morzaria. He's a big cheese at JP Morgan Chase, apparently. 'Never heard of him.' Now he's going to be a big cheese at Barclays. And the bank will be paying him a fortune. 'How much?' £800,000 plus bonus and that, share crap. He might make over £6 million a year. 'You could make more than that if you pulled your finger out.' My finger is the problem, Voice. It's all numb.


Jesus H. Christ! I can't even pretend to be square enough to write this financial news nonsense, baby - not with the weather the way it is. I'm just going to listen to Sinatra and make plans for my next conceptual. 'No. 134?' What do you think, man?! Of course No. 134. This afternoon. I might write about the seagull that stole my ice cream. 'You're still upset about that, aren't you?' Fuckin' A I'm still upset! You don't mess with a man's mint ice cream. Not in this weather.

Yeah, Frank. / Sinatra had a proper life. Hanging out in Vegas with the boys. Chasing the dames. That's a life. / This ain't a life. And I'm including you, dear reader(s). You ain't shit compared to Mr Sinatra.