Monday 24 February 2014

Daniel Loeb says yoga makes him a better investor

You know Dan Loeb, don't you? He's the founder and chief executive of that hedge fund, Third Point. Well, he's just come back from India where he spent some time with the Maharishi, Donovan, and Mike Love from The Beach Boys. (Ringo was there too for a while, but he ran out of baked beans and went home.) Apparently, they turned him on to the benefits of yoga. / Here's what Danny boy says (to everyone, he won't shut up) on the subject: "Oi, you! Yes, you. How often, man, do you get bad vibrations from your investing activities? I'm talking morals, not just money, you dig? Don't you feel sick sometimes, in your heart and your soul? Maybe your head. Well, you ain't spiritual enough, son. Contemplation, and meditation - it ain't just for penniless monks and hermits, you know, those morons! Deadbeats! Yoga. Anyone can do it. It's yoga you need. This is something I've been discussing with Mike Love. You see, yoga quiets the fluctuations in the mind. It puts the mind at ease, yeah? Yoga teaches us shit about the choices we make. It teaches us not to harm God's creatures when we're investing. Mice and that. And it makes us more creative, like Shakespeare. Incredible! Now that I'm back from India, I just know I'll make even more money, but I'll do it with a calmness I've never had before. And the bonus? No one will think I'm a bad or greedy person no more."

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Wonderful, eh? 'Ha!' Well, well ... It's a bit 2008 though, isn't it? I'm surprised he didn't mention the astral plane. Where was Danny when I was touching the financial world with my blood and fire? / Obviously, I wish him the best of luck, but it's all ... dead for me, that life. I only care about my music now. I can't believe Danny spent a whole month in the company of Mike Love, Donovan, and Ringo (for a week or so) and didn't come back with the music bug.