Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Carl Icahn is just talking "noise"

Yeah, "noise", the polite word for "shit". / That's not me saying that. It's John Donahoe, the CEO of eBay. But I can understand why John is upset. Carl Icahn is sticking his nose into eBay. He wants the firm to spin off its PayPal division, and he's moaning about the sale of Skype from a few years ago. 'Ancient history.' Yeah.

Crazy! 'Mad!' / Yes, I can understand why John is pissed off because I've had my own trouble with Carl. Just before Christmas last year, Carl popped round to see me. 'Did he?' Yeah. I saw him stomping up the street and thought to myself: "Oh no, what does he want?" Well, I soon found out. He wanted me to sell my acoustic guitar!!! 'Ha! I remember that, Mikey.' Yeah. The nerve of the guy. I told him that I needed my guitar for writing my songs, and recording and that. Carl said I should use my other guitar. 'Ha!' I told him the other guitar was a piece of crap from Argos. 'Yeah.' The one he wanted me to sell was the nice Yamaha one. 'What a comedian!' I know, Voice. Anyway, he said that he would start talking to the media - you know, try to put pressure on me to sell. 'He's a nutcase!' I know, Voice. I told him to piss off. 'You actually kicked him out of the house, didn't you, boss?' Yeah, I did. Well ... I pushed him out the fucking door, man. I was really angry.

So, I can sympathize with John Donahoe. He's got to stay strong though. Just ignore the ... "shit".


By the way, if any journalists talk to Carl about this, he's going to say that I don't look after my guitar properly, that I don't clean it or change the strings. He'll say I don't deserve a Yamaha. Nonsense! Absolute nonsense! I do look after it. I've banged it a bit, and it's got a few scratches on it. Carl will try to twist that. But don't listen to him, dear reader(s). I play it all the time, for Christ's sake! It's obviously not going to be in perfect condition like the day I bought it.