He's happy at Highbridge. However, that doesn't cut any ice with Adam Bernstein. Oh dear. This might turn nasty. / You see, dear reader(s), Adam has been telling anyone who will listen that he's leaving Highbridge to start his own hedge fund. 'That's fair enough, Mikey.' Yes, Voice. But he's also saying, now, that he will be taking Mark Hoffman with him. 'Oh. And Mark doesn't want to go?' No. It's the last thing he wants. Mark is really upset. He was on the phone to me last night, crying his little eyes out. 'What did he say, man?' Well ...
Mikey, I don't know what to do, man. I'm just ... cracking up. I feel like ending it all. (Don't be silly, Mark. Calm down! Now tell me, what's going on?) This Adam - (Adam Bernstein?) Yeah. He's crazy. Fucking crazy! For months he's been talking shit about starting his own hedge fund, a tech and media one, you know? (Yeah.) I just humoured him. I went along with it, saying how great his idea was. (Right.) The next thing I know, he's telling the bosses at Highbridge that we're leaving to start it up. (You mean, you and him, both leaving?) Yeah. (Ha!) Mikey, it's not funny, man. (No. Sorry.) I've been at Highbridge for over ten years. I'm the global head of equity trading. I love working there. All my friends are there. I don't want to take the risk of joining some pie-in-the-sky hedge fund that doesn't even have a name. (It doesn't have a name?! That's always a bad sign.) Fuckin' A it is! What am I going to do? Tell me! What am I going to do?! (Have you got a tissue, Mark?) Yes. (Well, you can start by blowing your nose. I can't talk to you in this state. Just calm down a bit, yeah?) You've got to help me. (All right, listen, Mark. This is what I'll do. I'll speak to Adam. I'll make him understand that you want no part of his nonsense.) He won't listen. (I'll reason with him.) You can't - (Listen to me, Mark! I'll go on the astral plane and wreck this guy's aura, his chakras, and his soul, if that's what it takes. I'm the world's foremost financial shaman. No one fucks with me or my friends, you dig?) Yeah. Thank you, Mikey. (So dry your eyes. Have an early night. I'll sort everything.) Thank you.
Jesus H. Christ! He's a good kid though, Mark Hoffman. I'll be dealing with Adam later ...
Mikey, I don't know what to do, man. I'm just ... cracking up. I feel like ending it all. (Don't be silly, Mark. Calm down! Now tell me, what's going on?) This Adam - (Adam Bernstein?) Yeah. He's crazy. Fucking crazy! For months he's been talking shit about starting his own hedge fund, a tech and media one, you know? (Yeah.) I just humoured him. I went along with it, saying how great his idea was. (Right.) The next thing I know, he's telling the bosses at Highbridge that we're leaving to start it up. (You mean, you and him, both leaving?) Yeah. (Ha!) Mikey, it's not funny, man. (No. Sorry.) I've been at Highbridge for over ten years. I'm the global head of equity trading. I love working there. All my friends are there. I don't want to take the risk of joining some pie-in-the-sky hedge fund that doesn't even have a name. (It doesn't have a name?! That's always a bad sign.) Fuckin' A it is! What am I going to do? Tell me! What am I going to do?! (Have you got a tissue, Mark?) Yes. (Well, you can start by blowing your nose. I can't talk to you in this state. Just calm down a bit, yeah?) You've got to help me. (All right, listen, Mark. This is what I'll do. I'll speak to Adam. I'll make him understand that you want no part of his nonsense.) He won't listen. (I'll reason with him.) You can't - (Listen to me, Mark! I'll go on the astral plane and wreck this guy's aura, his chakras, and his soul, if that's what it takes. I'm the world's foremost financial shaman. No one fucks with me or my friends, you dig?) Yeah. Thank you, Mikey. (So dry your eyes. Have an early night. I'll sort everything.) Thank you.
Jesus H. Christ! He's a good kid though, Mark Hoffman. I'll be dealing with Adam later ...
