Monday, 11 August 2014

Brian Jorgenson gets two years in prison for insider trading!

Yeah. Two years. Last Friday, in court. / His mate, Sean Stokke, got eighteen months a couple of weeks ago. Not bad. It could have been worse, much worse. They could be doing twenty years. / This is over in America (where all the best and biggest scandals are). Brian Jorgenson worked at Microsoft as a corporate finance manager. Sean Stokke was a former colleague. Brian got all the inside information, and Sean did all the trading. 'Clever. Almost.' They made more than $400,000. (So, not really a big scandal then.) Maybe when they get out of prison they'll be able to write a book, like Jordan Belfort. 'I don't think their story is as exciting, boss.' Why not, Voice? 'Well, where are all the hookers, the dwarfs, the wrecked cars and yachts, the drugs?' Oh yeah, I see what you mean. They weren't thinking ahead, were they? And, of course, they made nowhere near enough money.

Dear oh dear ... / What does Donald Trump say? 'About this, Mikey?!' No, I mean, what does he say? 'About what? You've lost me.' Jesus! He says, Sweet Voice O' Mine ... YOU'VE GOT TO THINK BIG AND KICK ASS!!! 'Oh.' / Especially in America. Surely the biggest crime, in a lot of people's eyes over there, will be that Brian and Sean made so little money. 'And they didn't throw one dwarf at a target board.' Yes, that's worth remembering, man. Not one. Shocking!

'Anything else? / And there's more! 'Yippee!' The guys were hoping to start their own hedge fund. 'Oh no.' No, listen. It could have been great, you know? They could have employed people, and paid loads of tax. 'I suppose.' They would have been heroes instead of villains, if it had all worked out. 'There's a moral to this story somewhere, boss.' Is there, Voice?! 'Beats me. It's just something you say, isn't it?' Yeah. / But what a tragedy, eh?!