What was she going on about yesterday, the conservative babe? I don't know. (Well, I do.) And I don't care. (I really don't care.) I don't care for a very good reason ...
You see, the universe is 13.8 billion years old. I am forty-six years old. There were 13.8 billion years of "life" that I missed out on before I was born. Hopefully, I'll live to a decent age. Maybe I'll see eighty-one, another thirty-five years! 'Marvellous!' The problem with that is, the universe may continue for another five billion years (according to the experts) after my death, which means yet again I'll be missing out on ... a lot of "life", five billion years of life, you dig?
However, let's not think of five billion years into the future. 'Christ, man! That's crazy!' I know. It's far too long. No, let's focus our minds, dear reader(s), Voice, on a mere one billion years in the future. 'Oh, right.' / In one billion years time there will be no Conservative Party, there will be no traces of Shakespeare or Mozart, there will be no Tesco petrol stations selling "luxury" egg sandwiches, there will be no Aspirin headache pills, there will be no cans of Coke, there will be no Aviva Investors, there will be no TV, there will be no Chelsea Football Club, there will be no internet, there will be no triple-cooked chips in boozers down by the river, there will be no Adidas trainers, there will be no guitars ...
I could go on. 'Don't!' And that's just one billion years from now! 'Shit!' A real nightmare, yeah? God knows what the situation will be like in five billion years time! / 'Ha!' Yeah, er ... Priti Patel says that kids should put their selfie sticks away and get some work experience during the summer holidays. Why?! Why the fuck should they do that?! Where's the benefit to them, us, or anyone ... now, or in the future? How will it stop EVERYTHING WE KNOW one day disappearing into the void?
...
So, my message to the kids is: Enjoy yourself! It's later than you think. Which is actually the same message The Specials gave out on their second album, More Specials. 'Great minds think alike, Mikey!' Tell me about it!
You see, the universe is 13.8 billion years old. I am forty-six years old. There were 13.8 billion years of "life" that I missed out on before I was born. Hopefully, I'll live to a decent age. Maybe I'll see eighty-one, another thirty-five years! 'Marvellous!' The problem with that is, the universe may continue for another five billion years (according to the experts) after my death, which means yet again I'll be missing out on ... a lot of "life", five billion years of life, you dig?
However, let's not think of five billion years into the future. 'Christ, man! That's crazy!' I know. It's far too long. No, let's focus our minds, dear reader(s), Voice, on a mere one billion years in the future. 'Oh, right.' / In one billion years time there will be no Conservative Party, there will be no traces of Shakespeare or Mozart, there will be no Tesco petrol stations selling "luxury" egg sandwiches, there will be no Aspirin headache pills, there will be no cans of Coke, there will be no Aviva Investors, there will be no TV, there will be no Chelsea Football Club, there will be no internet, there will be no triple-cooked chips in boozers down by the river, there will be no Adidas trainers, there will be no guitars ...
I could go on. 'Don't!' And that's just one billion years from now! 'Shit!' A real nightmare, yeah? God knows what the situation will be like in five billion years time! / 'Ha!' Yeah, er ... Priti Patel says that kids should put their selfie sticks away and get some work experience during the summer holidays. Why?! Why the fuck should they do that?! Where's the benefit to them, us, or anyone ... now, or in the future? How will it stop EVERYTHING WE KNOW one day disappearing into the void?
...
So, my message to the kids is: Enjoy yourself! It's later than you think. Which is actually the same message The Specials gave out on their second album, More Specials. 'Great minds think alike, Mikey!' Tell me about it!
