Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Scott Bessent? Key Square Group? $2 billion?!

Oh, what the hell is going on?! 'Tell us, boss.' Christ! Do you believe this? Some cat by the name of Scott Bessent has been managing George Soros' $30 billion fortune for the last four years, yeah? 'Yeah? So?' Well, all of a sudden, out of the blue, our Scott suddenly finds $2 billion down the back of the sofa (I suppose that's what he's telling people) and decides to start his own firm, Key Square Group. The question is: Where did Scott really get that money from, eh? 'Er ... from George Soros.' Oh, so you admit it! 'Admit it?! I'm not involved, boss.' No? Well, I'm phoning the FBI. I'll leave you out of it, Voice, but I'll certainly tell them all about Scott. 'Boss, George Soros has given Scott the money.' Oh, right, of course. Scott, you've done a great job for me the last four years. I paid you a very nice salary, but I'm going to give you $2 billion as a gift. Do what you want with it. Ha! Do you think I was born yesterday, man?! I'm phoning the Feds. 'Go on then.' Later, after my lunch.

Dear reader(s), Scott Bessent will be leaving Soros Fund Management at the end of the year. God knows when Key Square Group will get off the ground, if it ever does. I've got a nice cheese and tomato sandwich for lunch, the classic Morrisons £1 one. Maybe I'll be in a better mood after my lunch. Maybe I won't bother with the phone call. It's not as if our George is going to miss $2 billion, is it?


The crazy world of finance! But it's not my job to keep an eye on everyone. And I'm not a chivato. I used to be Jack Pickles, (regular) reader(s), remember? Some of the strokes I pulled, boy! 'Oh, you were so bad, boss.' Bad? I was badder than bad, bad Leroy Brown. 'You were meaner than a junkyard dog.' Of course I was.

Now, er ... lunch?! 'You've told them about your lunch, Mikey. The classic cheese and tomato sandwich.' Did I tell them about the crisps, Voice? 'No.' Did I tell them about the yoghurt? 'No.' Did I tell them about the can of Coke? 'No.' Never mind.