Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Carousel Capital Partners V - $400 million!!!

Yippee! / Oh, what's this?! ... I can imagine you're wondering, dear reader(s). 'They're always wondering something, boss.' I know they are, Voice. They're a pain in the arse.

Well, Carousel Capital Partners V is a new buyout fund from Carousel Capital. They were aiming to raise $300 million, but somehow managed to end up with $400 million. 'Ha! Why didn't they go for the cool half a billion, man?' BECAUSE ... that would have been too ambitious, man. 'Oh.' I think we should cut them some slack. $400 million is very good. I mean, it's $100 million more than they wanted, so ... / Anyway, about the firm -

Carousel Capital is a private equity investment firm that invests in companies headquartered in the Southeastern United States. This region produces the most GDP, has the most net private sector job growth and the largest population of any geographic region in the nation.

'Nice.' And there's more -

Since its founding in 1996, Carousel Capital has earned a reputation with both investors and business owners for successful investing within the Southeast. Carousel's unparalleled CEO investor network, direct deal sourcing capabilities, experienced investment team and successful investment track record uniquely position the firm to be the partner of choice for small buyout opportunities within the Southeast.

'Very nice.' And there's more. However, I'm not putting all of it in this post. It's just stuff about the southeast. They seem to be obsessed with the southeast.

Obviously, I, er ... wish them all the best with their fifth fund, BUT ... we have more important things to talk about, don't we? 'Er, like?' Like, uh ... well, well.


Uh, anything else? 'Yes!' BIG TIME! 'Politics?' Politics! YES! Jeremy Corbyn seems to be coming up with policies that will ... alienate every single voter in the land. 'Don't exaggerate, boss.' Oh, okay. Firstly, he now supports Brexit when 68 per cent of Labour voters are supposed to be Remainers. 'Oh.' Yeah. AND ... I've just read on the Guardian website that he wants to bring in a law to limit earnings. 'What?!' Yeah. So, you earn too much, and your money will be confiscated by the state. 'What?! 100 per cent of it?!' Yeah. 'Jesus H. Christ!' It's got to be a mistake. Seriously. 'I mean ...' / Meanwhile, the Tories are getting away with being ... completely incompetent. No one is challenging them! 'Oh, shit! I think the UK is finished, Mikey. Have you booked your ticket for Malibu yet?' Ha! Not yet, Voice. I need to finish my new demo first. 'Jesus H. Christ!' I know, I know ... what a mess!

Note: I'm sick of politics. This is the last time I will write about it. The last time I will even think about it. So there!