Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Crux has bought Oriel!

[Or "acquired", I don't know. I haven't heard of any money changing hands ...]

What's this?! ... You're probably wondering. Christ! 'Maybe they know already.' Unless you know already. I mean, maybe you're one of these people who know everything. 'Ah, those bastards!' Or who think they know everything. 'They're even worse. I hate those guys.' Well, well, I doubt it, dear reader(s). So ... let me tell YOU(!). 'Yes!' Crux is Crux Asset Management. 'Oh. Nice. I didn't know that.' Yeah. And Oriel is - 'Ha! I know. Oriel Asset Management.' Uh, Jesus! How did you know that, Voice?! 'Lucky guess.' Well done, son!

CRUX Asset Management Limited, the independent fund management company, announce the transfer of funds and employees of Oriel Asset Management to CRUX. As a result, the investment manager of CFIC Oriel Global Fund, CFIC Oriel European Fund and CFIC Oriel UK Fund will change from Oriel to CRUX, subject to the necessary regulatory approvals, which are anticipated at the end of January 2017. The funds will be rebranded as CFIC CRUX Global Fund, CFIC CRUX European Fund and CFIC CRUX UK Fund.

Well, well ... the transfer of funds and employees ... eh? 'Yeah. Like cattle, boss.' I know! Don't these poor employees have a say in the matter? / Anyway, Crux? [of the matter, ha!]

We are a privately-owned company set up by a group of well qualified and highly-experienced investment professionals dedicated to providing superior investment returns and excellent client service.

Well, well ... it's probably a decent company, then. I'm sure the Oriel lot will be happy there. 'Really? It's just a shame they weren't asked.' We don't know that, man. 'Maybe they were asked: Do you want to be sold? No? Oh, tough. Something like that.' It's the way of the world these days, my little invisible friend. And things will only get worse with Brexit. 'Don't talk about Brexit!' We have to. Important news! The British ambassador to the EU has resigned. 'Quitter!' Listen! He says not only is there no plan for Brexit, but there are no people in place to come up with a plan. 'We're all doomed!' No, you'll be all right on the astral plane, Voice. It's people like me in THE REAL WORLD who will suffer. 'Don't panic, boss. You'll be living in Malibu by the time it all goes pear-shaped.' Oh, I hope so.


Anything else? No - is the short answer. 'What's the long answer?' No, no, no. / Laters.