Monday 31 July 2017

North Haven Tactical Value

What the hell is that?! ... oh, you might be wondering, dear reader(s), if you're not as informed as I am about what's going on in the world of finance. Ha!

Okay, okay, okay. I'll tell you. I shouldn't tell you, man. You should already know what it is. Come on! But I'll tell you because ... I'm so kind-hearted, you dig? 'Ha!' North Haven Tactical Value is actually a new fund that Morgan Stanley is setting up. 'Yippee!' Yes, Voice, it's certainly something to celebrate. They're trying to raise $500 million for the fund. 'Easy, boss! Easy! Morgan Stanley is a big name. They'll get the money no trouble.' Yes, Voice, I imagine they will get the money. Why wouldn't they?

Uh, uh ... well, the fund is going to invest in strange assets, and strange ideas, in, uh ... niche markets that hedge funds and private equity managers won't normally touch. 'Yeah? Like what?' Like ... well, I have some stuff, myself. I mean, my rainbow and cloud ideas. 'They weren't your ideas.' Yes they were, because I misunderstood what those other firms were going on about. 'Oh.' But I can see a way of ... you know, seeding pretty rainbows and fluffy white clouds and shit in the sky. 'Oh, right. And if Morgan Stanley invest, boss, how much money will they get back?' Jesus H. Christ! Voice, not everything is about money, man! Some people just want to enjoy the beautiful things in life. 'Morgan Stanley?' Yes! I'm sure the Morgan Stanley boys and girls don't think about money all the time. 'Well ...' Well, I don't think they do.

Well, well ... Christ! My thoughts. This morning. / A bit of sun. There'll be rain in Cornwall this week. Morgan Stanley! Well, they, er ... they might like my ideas. Time will tell. I'm in no rush. I've got my music, anyway. / ... / Let's move on! Please!

...

So ... anything else? No, no, no. Well, No. 534 later, but that's later. Laters.