Friday 1 February 2008

Fear and loathing in the Merrill Lynch fixed-income department

It's bonus time in the City and most bankers have something to smile about - despite the credit crunch. But the word on the street is that all is not well in Merrill Lynch's fixed-income department. Some characters there have seen a cut in their bonus, and workers in other departments have been told not to venture into fixed income.

I know a financial shaman at Merrill - I can't name him - and he told me, 'Everyone in my part of the bank was egging me on to go into the fixed-income department. They know I'm good at astral travel - and so wouldn't be seen. Well, I gave it my best shot but somehow ended up in the ladies toilet. Really embarrassing. People have to understand that astral projection is not an exact science.'