Wednesday, 6 February 2008

It's the Year of the Rat, not Cat

The 48 Group held a dinner at the Grosvenor House hotel this week to celebrate the Chinese new year. Loads of business types were there, including a certain Ian Barlow who is a senior partner at KPMG. Unfortunately, Ian was going around wishing everyone a prosperous Year of the Cat. I suppose his heart was in the right place, but it is actually the Year of the Rat.

I have been speaking to Michael Oliver from Mystical Cash Gurus about this, and he said, 'Easy mistake to make. No doubt he was thinking of the Al Stewart song. I've been in a similar situation, but not with the Chinese. A couple of years back I attended a special meeting of the Finsbury Square Zombie Club. I was one of the guest speakers. Everything was going swimmingly until I wished everyone a happy Night of the Living Dead. I thought that was what they were celebrating. Well, the mood turned ugly. I now know that zombies working in finance and banking consider the Night of the Living Dead as a vulgar event. A stain on their culture. It was dreamt up by a couple of entrepreneurs in Haiti. Basically, these two guys were trying to cash in on the zombie craze. They're dead now. Died in mysterious circumstances. I nearly died in mysterious circumstances, I can tell you. One zombie approached me and threatened to suck my brain out through my nose. I was sceptical myself, but had to take him seriously, as he was so aggressive. But a stroke of luck - Dougie Smith, whom we all know and respect, appeared at that very moment. He was late for the meeting, but turned up just in time to save my skin. And who knows what would have happened to my skin? Do you know what I mean? Anyway, he calmed things down. I had to apologize to everyone, and it's all forgotten about now - hopefully. They're very touchy though, aren't they, these zombies?'