Monday, 23 July 2012

Whitney Tilson and Glenn Tongue have had enough of each other

These T2 hedge fund guys were partners. I don't know if they were married. I've been told that Whitney might be a man, anyway. It's very confusing, and I'm not judging anyone. It's none of our goddamn business, let's be frank. / Well, the hedge fund is being broken up as well. Half of it will become Deerhaven Capital Management and be managed by Tongue. (How on earth do you manage a fund just using your tongue? The mind boggles!) That's the T2 SPAC fund. (Thug 4 life, this Glenn.) The other half will be called T2 Partners (no change there then) and be managed by Tilson with three funds. I have no idea who's getting custody of the children.

But they could have called me! I hate it when hedgies break up. I would have got involved. I would have done the healing. Crystals? No, not crystals. I would have banged their heads together and said: 'Whitney, Glenn, you're beautiful people. You deserve happiness, with each other. Think of the children. Is this how you want it to end?' No, I wouldn't have said any of that. Pathetic. Absolutely f - bloody pathetic! Bloody? However, I would have banged their heads together. I enjoy violence. And if they had given me any static, I'd have pulled the razor out. That would have shut them up. / Slash! Have some of that! Don't disrespect me. Not when I'm trying to help you. Are you completely fuckin' nuts?!

Let's calm down a bit. It's a sunny day, and I'm letting people I don't even know upset me. Does it make any sense? I suppose I care too much. There's a lot of suffering in this world, and I'm not the heartless type who can enjoy a sunny day and just forget, yeah?

Oh, by the way, I've decided: I am most definitely going beyond finance in my conceptuals now. I want to leave the dirt behind. But in all my other posts it's just gonna be trash talk like this for the foreseeable future because what's the point in doing anything else? You can't top conceptual literature, man. It's the new thing, the best thing, my most important/serious shit. So the rest of the time I may as well have fun. Just let it all hang out, as it were or will be. I hope you can dig that. And when you get into the conceptuals, I hope you can learn something. I want you to understand that finance will kill your soul. That's why I'm going beyond. I'm talking transcendence. And I want all of you with me!

Oh, calm down. Enjoy the sunshine.