Tuesday, 27 January 2015

David Hillier is at Insight Investment

For your information, dear reader(s). New job, new firm. Portfolio manager, senior. One month. Global multi-asset. Well, well ... / We are a specialist asset manager focused on designing innovative investment solutions to meet the needs of our clients: pension funds, insurers, sovereign wealth funds, wealth managers, financial institutions and private individuals. 'What's all that, boss?' Insight Investment, Voice. 'Oh. I remember something else. Before my time here. But I remember it. We believe in ghosts. We believe in the astral plane. So we say to our clients, forget about this world! A vale of tears! That's what it is. Look to the other world. There are opportunities on the other side. Do you know how many dead financiers there are? Do you know how much money they have? More insight. Not more of the same. More ghosts. More fire burning in the hearts of the righteous. That's what we believe in. Attractive investment opportunities on the other side! Come and join us. You won't regret it.' Yeah, that was years ago. Times change, I suppose.

Will David Hillier be happy at Insight? What worries me, is that our Dave was at Aviva Investors for six years. 'Oh dear.' Exactly. And I'm studying his picture on LinkedIn. He looks like a man who has spent six years at Aviva Investors, you dig? 'Shocking!' Yes. However, I don't want to be rude, so ... I'll let the readers draw their own conclusions, Voice.

And I've found this, on Insight's employees: To sustain their zeal we have created an environment that fosters innovation, rewards hard work and aligns their interests with those of our clients. 'Oh dear. Hard work, Mikey! Will our Dave be able to cope?' I hope so, man. Maybe he got sick of all the beer, all the ice cream. Maybe he wants to work now. Let's see what happens. Dave can always return to Aviva Investors if the going gets tough.


Anything else? Er ... I tried recording last night. Still no joy. 'Christ.' I wonder what Tony Robbins has to say on it. 'Probably something about changing one little thing and the whole result is different.' Maybe, Voice. Maybe. / I fear I'll have to go for the nuclear option. 'Oh no! Where will you get the energy? Where will you find the time?' I don't know, man. But it needs to happen.

[By the way, a sort of correction. Last week, I said that Louise was lovely. I was referring to Louise Keeling, not Louise Kay. Although I'm sure Kay is lovely as well. I just wanted to clear that up.]