Monday 3 August 2015

Chris Nygaard and Drew Gilbert have left Vermillion Asset Management

I'm still on my "soft launch". The "hard launch" is too hard, man. / But down to business. (You don't want to hear about my problems. You want to hear about other people's problems.) Chris Nygaard and Drew Gilbert are/were the founders of Carlyle's Vermillion Asset Management hedge fund unit, apparently. I mean, that's what I've been told. But it's a commodities fund. 'Oh no!' Yes, I'm afraid so. / So, so ... er, what is Chris Nygaard going to do now? And Andrew Gilbert? 'Pardon?' I said: And Andrew Gilbert? 'And, and ... Drew Gilbert? That doesn't make any sense, boss.' No, Voice. And Andrew Gilbert. 'Drew Gilbert?' Who the hell is Drew Gilbert?! 'He's one of the founders.' Yes, Andrew Gilbert. 'Well, Chris Nygaard and Drew Gilbert.' It's not one name, man. Chris Nygaard and Andrew Gilbert! 'What?!?!' Forget it! Forget his blasted name!

Uh, just forget it. You can't get the staff these days, dear reader(s). / NOW, where was I? Viridian! Yes, Viridian is the commodity hedge fund that's in trouble. 'Vermillion?' No, er ... Viridian. 'Oh, so it's Viridian Asset Management then?' Well, I suppose, maybe. I don't know! Christ! It's too early in the morning for all this. / Reader(s), not only is it morning, yeah? But it's Monday morning. And even worse than that, it's Monday morning in summer, August! AUGUST!!! What do you imagine the Aviva Investors boys and girls are doing at this very moment? 'Ha!' Yeah - ha!

...

Oh, fuck it! I should be playing my guitar. That's what I should be doing. 'Finish this post, boss, have your lunch, and then you can spend the rest of the day playing and singing the blues.' Singing the blues? I might go out instead. It's August! 'No! Stay in!' Yes! OUT!!! / Voice, are the Aviva Investors boys and girls staying in today and singing the blues? 'Oh, forget about them! You can't judge everything by their standards.' BUT - ...

I just get the feeling that everyone else is having fun while I'm suffering, you dig?

It's not fair! I want to go back to Cornwall and stay there. I only had five days in St Ives. How is that fair?!

'Mikey, record your songs, get them published, and then fuck off to St Ives or Malibu for the rest of your life!' Ha! Well, that's the plan, Voice. I'm the man with the plan ...

Laters, alligators. [Yeah, I got it right for once!]