Monday, 3 August 2015

Tom Hayes gets fourteen years in prison!

Christ! Tom Hayes, the former UBS Libor-rigging trader, has been given fourteen years! FOURTEEN YEARS!!! Oh, who wants to work in finance now, eh? 'What?!' Because there was a time when if your broke the law the worst that would happen was the Conservative Party would return your donation, yeah? 'Come on, boss! Is that true? Would the Tories really return the money?' [Shut up, Voice!] Now though you can get fourteen years in prison. That's a life sentence! 'Times have changed, man.' It just ain't worth it any more. / As a result of this, I predict a lot more readers will be coming to my blog trying to find out how to get into music. And Denmark Street will sell out of guitars in the next few days, you mark my words. 'Don't be ridiculous, Mikey! Bankers and hedgies ain't gonna do what you're doing.' Oh no? Well, they followed me into the desert, 2008 and 2009, didn't they? 'Yeah, I suppose.' Of course they did! They're going to be looking at Tom and saying: Screw that for a game of soldiers! Oh, it's all over. It's got to be.

You see, with music, you might have an overdose, man, but there's not much that can go wrong, really. 'What about Sid Vicious, boss? He killed his girlfriend and -' That was in the Seventies, Voice! Actually, pop stars don't even have overdoses these days. I'm telling you, dear reader(s), it's safer than finance. And you'll have more fun. Banks and hedge funds don't want you having fun in the present climate. Just look at Michael Spencer and Chris McCoy at JPMorgan. You know, the expenses thing? Nothing criminal. But no more nightclubs! No more lap dances! I'm afraid it's tea and biscuits from now on. 'If you're lucky.' Yeah, if you're lucky! / Finance? Mug's game!


Ah, that's enough. Two posts! / No post tomorrow. I didn't go out today, so maybe I'll go out tomorrow, you dig?

Guitar? 'Your guitar?' My guitar?! Reader(s), it was a big mistake putting new strings on my FG730S and then not recording my songs. 'What are you going to do?' I'm just going to carry on practicing and then put another set on when I'm ready. Psychologically, I mean.

And if YOU(!) ... are getting a guitar, an acoustic, get the Yamaha FG730S, yeah? It's a thing of beauty! It really is.