Monday, 30 January 2012

As Stephen Hester gives up his bonus ...

Michael Fowke says: 'Go and get a job in a fucking hedge fund, Stephen, if you want to earn millions and millions and millions of pounds.'

I'm Michael Fowke, by the way, the world's foremost financial shaman. I'm the author of this blog, but I guess you know that.

This Stephen Hester, I spent a couple of days in the desert with him when he first became chief executive of Royal Bank of Scotland. I can't say I warmed to him all that much, even though he was on fire. Burning brightly, as they say. I knew he was only interested in the money. He completely missed the spiritual/mystical side. He paid it lip service, of course, but then a lot of bankers do that, don't they?

I want to earn millions and millions and millions of pounds, myself. But I'm not going to work in a hedge fund. I'd get bored.

Apparently, Stephen spent the weekend in Switzerland, skiing. Ha! That's something I won't be doing after my ship has come in. (Skiing is for middle-class ponces who want to impress their co-workers. A lot of them work in the newspaper business. No offence to anyone reading, like.) And I won't be buying a Rolls-Royce or a Rolex. (Only vulgarians do that.) No, I'll be buying my freedom.

My fucking freedom, as I say.