Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Lloyd Blankfein calls me out of the blue

Well, he phoned me. I'm not saying he called my name. I'm not saying I heard my name on the wind all the way from New York. That would be fucking ridiculous and I'm surprised you fell for it. Do you believe everything I tell you?

No, he phoned me, late last night, out of the blue. This is what was spoken between us: 'Mikey, how you doing, boy? (What do you want, Lloyd? Who have I got to hit now?) What the f**k is this? Can't I call an old friend? We haven't spoken since the Lee Robinson affair. (No, I phoned you about my intern, remember?) Oh yeah. That freak. (You didn't give him a job, did you?) F**k no! (Good. So who do you want me to hit?) Mikey, Viniar gets all the contracts these days, you know this. You're hurting my feelings. (Lloyd, you haven't got any feelings. I can't imagine you became chief executive of Goldman by having feelings. Jesus.) Okay, Michael, I'll level with you. When are you coming back? I miss you, kid. (I'm not working for you again.) We had some laughs, didn't we? (The people we hurt, they weren't laughing, were they? I feel bad, Lloyd, real bad. I get these nightmares, you know? I see their faces, man.) You know your problem? You've been spending too much time with that little prick, Bobby D. He doesn't even pay you. (I ain't seen Bobby in ages. I ain't got no connection with Barclays any more. I'm on my own now, Lloyd. And that's the way I like it.) How are your songs coming along? (I'm making progress.) You ain't gonna be no Burt f**king Bacharach, Mikey! (What do you know about it?! Just fuck off, Lloyd, all right?) You're a shaman, for Christ's sake! The best there's ever been. (I've got more strings to my bow.) We'll see.'

Can you believe what a pain in the arse this guy is?