Thursday, 14 June 2012

Lloyd Blankfein speaks to me about eternal life

Lloyd phoned me last night. He didn't want me to whack anyone, which made a nice change. He was just feeling bored, I suppose. I've stopped trying to figure him out.

'Mikey, how ya doing, boy? (I'm all right, Lloyd. You sound happy.) You'd be happy if you were living forever. (Eh?) Don't you read the papers? (I try not to.) My doctor told me. (Told you what, Lloyd?) He said to me, don't worry about a thing, son, you'll be at Goldman forever, and you'll never get old. (Like a vampire, you mean?) Something like that. (Jesus. And what, this is all a medical, er, situation, then?) F**kin' A it's a medical situation! I'm a freak of nature. (And you're okay with it?) Mikey, if it's good for business, you know? (Yeah.) If you think of my last five or six predecessors, they were f**king schmucks. I'm going to be the chief executive of Goldman Sachs until the end of time! (Then what?) Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. Maybe there are other realms, I don't know. That's your area. (Lloyd, there are other realms, but I can't say that you'll be welcome.) What do you mean?! (It's great the medical situation you have, the physical side, marvellous, but you neglect the spiritual side of things. It's crazy. How many shamans and mystics do you have at Goldman? You probably don't know, but I do. Hundreds! But to you they're just a way of doing better business.) Mikey, I didn't phone you for a f**king sermon, man. Don't be horrible. I haven't said anything about your songs. (Listen, I think ... it's ... just ... you know what I mean.) Oh, I know. (There's more to life than banking, than Goldman, you dig?) Maybe. (There is! / And what about my songs?) Ha! You haven't written any f**king songs! I told you to forget all this "I'm going to be bigger than Burt Bacharach" nonsense. (I've got one song, a great song! You won't be laughing when I'm the toast of the music business.) Whatever.'

Bastard. He doesn't appreciate how difficult it is. This guy has never done anything creative in his life. Typical money man.