Tuesday, 7 January 2014

I might sue GLG Partners

Yeah, I might sue GLG Partners. I'll have to think about it. Consider my options. But I might do it. 'Why, Boss?! I thought they were your friends.' They are my friends, Voice. It's just that they've got loads of money and I fancy getting my hands on some of it. 'Oh. / Have you ever invested with them?' No. 'Oh. / Did they give you some bad advice?' No. 'So what's the problem, then, Mikey?' The problem, man, is that I ain't got no money, and they've got more money than they know what to do with. 'Right.' I want some! 'Oh, you're just greedy!' I'm not greedy. They're greedy. GLG isn't sharing its money with me. I want some! I want some! I WANT SOME!!!

Maybe I won't have to sue. 'No?' Maybe they'll read this post and say, "Mikey's down on his luck. We don't want him suing us. Let's bung him £50 million. That will keep him happy for a while." / As I keep saying, you've got to have a dream. 'Yeah.' I mean, I want to live in Malibu. 'Or Scotland.' What?! 'Move to Scotland, man, and then when it becomes independent you won't have to live under a fascist regime. And it'll be cheaper, too.' That's not a bad idea. 'No, it's a good idea.' It's a very good idea! I'll only need a couple of million off GLG. 'Yeah. Two or three million. That's nothing.' Three million, I think. I really won't have to sue.

Well, that's cheered me up a bit. / Dear reader(s), it doesn't matter what pickle you find yourself in, there's always a solution to your problem. You've just got to use your brain. 'And get a disembodied voice to help you - if at all possible.' Yeah, if possible. Not everyone is as mystical as I am though.


When is Cornwall going to become an independent country?