Wednesday, 1 January 2014

'What's going to happen in finance this year, Mikey?'

I don't know, man. Why are you asking me? I don't even know what happened in finance last year. 'Christ!' Yeah. / Never mind. This should be my last year of proper blogging. Once I'm promoted to rock and roll shaman I'll probably only have enough time for a couple of posts a month. / I'll see how it goes.

I just hope I don't end up like David Essex in Stardust. 'Or Jim Morrison.' / Maybe I'll just be a songwriter. It'll be a quieter life.

I've only had a bit of sleep, a couple of hours. There was a lot of noise last night, like people were celebrating something. Bizarre!

A few thoughts, that's all. I'm hoping there'll be news tomorrow. 'You're hoping?!' Not really, no.

Er ... 'Have you finished Gilly, Gilly yet, boss?' No, Voice. It won't be long though. Then I'll have four killer songs. 'There's no way you won't do it. It's a lot of crap talk about rock and roll.' What?! 'I'm paraphrasing Adam Faith, man.' Oh, right, Stardust. 'You gotta do it. It's your job.' Yeah.

I'll write a few posts tomorrow, for my sins. / There'll be some financial news, I'm sure. / A new hedge fund. Hedgies full of optimism! Or an old hedge fund. Hedgies going gentle into that good night.

The news. I've gotta do it. It's my job. For now ...

I'm listening to Oasis. 'Whatever.' No. / I was reading a blog post the other day where some rotten slag was having a go at Noel Gallagher for being a rubbish songwriter. Just because Gallagher's not into fancy chords and time signatures. / Like anyone outside jazz gives a shit. Do you know what I mean?

Of course, Gallagher's lyrics leave a lot to be desired, but lyrics don't matter so much if you have great melody - which Gallagher has, most of the time. / Anyway, I doubt this wanker bothers Noel in his mansion, and his Rolls-Royce.

I'm trying my best with the lyrics though. / I reckon You're Lying is my most impressive song. It's as if it were written by an old-fashioned two-man team - one on music, and the other on words.

Well, well ... er. / There can't be any news today. / I haven't even looked ... to be honest with you, dear reader(s). I mean ... 'They don't care, Mikey.' You're right, Voice! They're on the verge of giving up, the best of them. / A new year! Get out while you can, lads! And lasses! There is another life! Believe me. 'Believe him, children.' Please! / Have you learnt nothing? 'Blood and fire!' Yes! But how much money do they need, Voice? 'They have enough.' Reader(s), you don't want to keep on, and on, and on ... like, like Warren Buffett! 'Madness! Utter madness!' Listen to the Voice! 'Listen to the world's foremost financial shaman!' Oh, lost souls ... Listen to both of us.


Money is the way: The financial blog for people who hate finance.

Money is the way: Ripping the piss out of squares since 2007.

Money is the way: All great things must first wear terrifying and monstrous masks in order to inscribe themselves on the hearts of humanity.

Money is the way: Oh, I don't know, man.