Thursday, 2 April 2015

M&G's Richard Woolnough made £15 million in 2014!

Well done, Richie, mate! ('He made more than that in 2013.' Shut it, you slag!) / I like Richard Woolnough, dear reader(s). Yes, he was wrong about the spiders, but - 'What spiders, boss?' Don't you remember, last October, Voice? Richie said: We should fear giant hairy spiders coming into our houses and biting our arms and legs off. 'Er ... did he say that?' Well, yeah, I think ... / It doesn't matter! The point is, not everyone can be right all the time.

Oh, I'm looking at the Citywire website, the wealth manager section. Strange! It wants to know if I'm Richard Woolnough. Are you Richard Woolnough? No. No, I'm not. But I wouldn't mind his money. Do you know what I mean?

Which reminds me ... / Richie, if you're reading this, could you spare me a few thousand? 'Only a few thousand, boss?' Well, I don't know, Voice. How much do you think I should ask for? 'Make it twenty grand, man. Think about it. You need a top-of-the-range Stratocaster, an amp, a good keyboard, a couple of weeks in Cornwall, some new clothes as well. Timberland boots!' Oh yeah. Right. / Yeah, Richie, £20,000 will be enough. Just send it through PayPal. Thanks, son!


Anything else? Politics!

The Tories have made a big mistake with this bullshit letter from one hundred great business leaders of our time. Seriously, who gives a toss about it? (I mean, anyone living a normal life.) If you're down the food bank begging for a can of baked beans and someone tells you that business leaders are against Labour, your natural response is going to be: Fuck the business leaders, man! Fuck them in the ear!*

Not that Labour are going to be much better. We'll have to wait and see. ('Who's this "We"?' You, and me. 'Oh.') Personally, I think we will need the SNP to keep Labour honest and decent.

But it didn't have to be this way! When the Tories came to power five years ago, they could have said to themselves: We're going to work for everyone. For our rich friends ... and the bottom 99 per cent of society. That's the best way to get in again - and with a majority.

Idiots! / Rant over.

*Not our Richie, obviously. My Richie is one of the good guys.