Wednesday, 1 April 2015

Who on earth is Stephen Kirk?! / What on earth is Campden Square Capital?!

Well, well ... well. I know who he is, I think, Mr Kirk. 'Do you?!' But, er ... the fund?! / Yeah, er ... 'Eh?' / Right, let's get things moving! Dear reader(s), there's a bit of confusion here today, I'm afraid. I mean, I'm totally chaotic at the best of times, and - 'A lot of confusion, Mikey!' Yes, Voice! A hell of a lot! The thing is, I had a disturbed night, last night. Quite a few weird dreams, and I kept waking up and thinking about bar(re) chords, for the love of Christ! 'Jesus!' And now this! We have this, er ... "Stephen Kirk" character. Well ... uh, I don't know. I just ... / Don't bother looking at his LinkedIn profile, reader(s). It's a fucking joke! It just says that he's an analyst at Lansdowne Partners. 'Ha! Ridiculous' Well, he left that firm last year. And he was a partner, anyway. 'Oh, it's one of those fake profiles, boss. Only six connections!' Yeah. Unbelievable! Why do they do it? These sick internet degenerates! What pleasure can be derived from setting up a fake account, filling it with false information, and then ... only managing to get six connections?! 'Sad. These people should get a life, Mikey.' Of course they should!

And I haven't even started with the real confusion yet! / Er ... well, our Stephen is setting up a new hedge fund, you see. It's going to be called Campden Square Capital(!), for some reason. Shouldn't it be Campden Hill Square Capital? I mean, that's the name of the street, ain't it? 'It's a very rich area, boss. Harold Pinter used to live there. It's obvious what our Stephen is trying to do. He's trying to put the idea in investors' heads that this new hedge fund will be a classy affair. Shame he got the name wrong.'

Maybe it's intentional, I don't know. These hedgies live in a world of their own, and you can't tell them anything.


Music? Give me a chance! Let me think ... / I'll put Bowie on again. (I'm going through a Bowie period.) Live in Santa Monica '72. His best live album, which was actually a bootleg for many years. / By the way, Jeff Beck played at Bowie's Ziggy retirement concert the following year but was left out of the film. 'He probably wanted a ton of money.' Maybe, Voice.

Lunch? Cheese rolls, for a change. Like sausage rolls, man, only made out of cheese. 'Oh.' Don't get upset.

I'll be spinning a-ROUND later. / Laters.