Tuesday, 20 September 2016

The M&G Property Portfolio has a cash cushion!

Well, you learn something new every day, reader(s). A cash cushion, of all things! Ha! 'What on earth is a cash cushion, boss?' What, you don't know? 'No. Tell me. Tell the readers.' A cash cushion is just a cushion stuffed with cash, that's all. Fiona Rowley sits on it. She finds it comforting. 'Who - ?' Shut up, Voice! You're not an owl! Yes, our Fiona finds it very comforting. Especially lately, because the cushion is doubling its size. I think they're aiming for £300 million. 'Boss, who the hell is Fiona Rowley?!' Christ! Don't you know anything, man? She's the fund manager.

Fiona Rowley joined M&G Real Estate as an investment surveyor in 1994 and was appointed deputy fund manager of the M&G Property Portfolio on its launch in 2005. She was appointed fund manager in 2007. Before joining the group, Fiona worked for property service company Knight Frank. She has a first class honours degree in estate management from South Bank University and is a member of the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors (RICS) and the Investment Property Forum.

You see? 'Oh, okay. / It must be a big cushion though. I mean, all that cash.' Yeah, it is a big cushion, Voice. They keep it in the basement. Fiona goes down there on her tea breaks, and in the morning before she starts work. Just to meditate a bit, you know? 'Nice. / What about the others at M&G? Aren't they allowed on the cushion?' Of course they are! But it's by invitation only. Fiona controls access to the cushion. It's a perk of the job, I suppose.


Anything else? Not really, no. Summer seems to be over. 'I'm sad about it, Mikey.' I'm not too bothered. Maybe it's for the best. I'll be able to stay in now and spend more time with my guitar. 'What about the Aviva Investors mob?' Well, they'll be moving into the pub soon - if they're not there already. 'Ha!' Yeah, I know. It's a wonderful life, for some.